The Brightest Stars

Kristen

I look at Nate as he quietly takes bites from his plate.

He's been very quiet lately. I understand him. Losing someone close to you is something you can't bare to handle. It's just impossible to find a way to find peace. Especially when you know you will never see them smile at you again.

I insisted we shouldn't come to this fancy restaurant tonight. But he still mumbled a disagreement and quietly drove all the way here. His kiss on my cheek felt as cold as Max's coffin when I put a hand on it to say goodbye.

If there's someone I'm mostly worried about is Belle. We all have had our cries together and our talk about Max in theater.

But Belle is the quietest one of us all. I know her. She tends to hide all these feelings deep down in her heart.

Now I'm trying hard to pull her out of the deep waters only to have her hand slip from mine every time we are about to arrive to the surface.

My heart breaks at looking at Nate sadly look down at his plate. I look around me at all the fancy decorations and people. It would be a beautiful night on Valentine's Day, but it all seems so blue.

I sigh and reach out to take a hold of his hand. Nate just looks at the way I tenderly squeeze his hand and say, "Baby. If you want, we don't have to be here tonight."

"Stop it, Kristen. I promised you a date tonight. So here it is."

I ignore his angry tone and say, "It's okay. You don't have to pretend."

"I'm not pretending," he says abruptly and I let go of his hand in surprise. He looks around to see if anyone heard him and clears his throat. "I just....this is stupid." My heart is shot with hurt, but I push it aside as I cross my arms on my chest. "It's stupid that he died. It's dumb that everyone acts like nothing is happening!"

"I know how it feels," I say with a comforting voice. "But the world continues despite of death. It takes time to understand that after a lose."

"I don't care!" A couple looks over at us and embarrassments makes me look away from that side of the restaurant.

I lean closer to Nate as anger starts up in me. "Okay. I understand, but you have to calm down."

"But you don't understand, Kristen." My heart shrinks as sadness runs through his expression and his brown eyes become watery. "Good people like him aren't supposed to die. People like me are supposed to die! Not him!"

This time I don't have to worry that people around us heard his sorrow. He whispers this sadly and I push down the tears threatening to fall out. I shake my head as I take a hold of his hand again and say, "No. Don't say that, Nate. There are so many people that die everyday and we wish we could do something about it, but it's just not in our hands to stop it."

I understand this thought. It's ran through my mind so many times after Dad died. Why did he have to die? It should've been me. I've always been the black sheep of the family. Why not me?

But I just watch as a tear falls down on Nate's cheek and he angrily pulls his hand away from mine. "Whatever. Let's just eat quick and get the hell out of here." He pulls on his tie as if he's suffocating and takes his fork again.

My blood boils at this and my voice is steady as I say, "I told you that it's okay if you're not in the mood to go out. You were the one that wanted to come here."

Nate drops his fork angrily on his plate and people around start to stare. "Fine. Then what is it that you want? This is supposed to be Valentine's night. Doesn't this make a girl happy on this day?"