Tales of Hopeless Romantic Fails

I won't apologize

"I won't apologize for who I am"
Selena Gomez, I won't apologize.

Fall 2012

Dear Diary,

Although things fell apart with T,  at least I had C in my life. So that was still something I figured. Yet again, I was wrong. I swear I must be having the worst summer holiday luck in the world when it comes to guy friendships. It's like no matter how good it's at the start supporting each other, once they change their minds like the weather, they cut me out of their life. Like our friendship never existed. Almost like it didn't mean anything at all to them.

This one literally fell off the grid and I had to hear it from the grapevine that he was dating my cousin. Not that I care he's dating her specifically, although it makes no sense to me. Given for our entire senior year they were constantly bickering. Is it honestly really that hard to tell your girl best friend that you're seeing someone else? Despite the fact that I never felt about C romantically, mainly because he drove me absolutely crazy in elementary school with endless teasing and stealing all my stationery - it just would have been nice to have some heads up. It's honestly starting to look like common decency and courtesy is becoming a rare occurrence these days.

Anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself as always! Back to the beginning. After middle school C and I didn't really cross paths. Until we reconnected in our senior year French class and it was like time never passed. Other than he was more mature now and stopped stealing my stationery, yet the bantering teasing continued. I guess some things never change!

The only downside I noticed at the time was whenever the Charmer and C were in the same room together, it was awkward as heck with me sandwiched in the middle. Neither of them would talk to each other and every time I bought it up, they would always dodge the subject. So I gave up on that avenue. If they didn't want to be friends, as long as I could it was fine by me.

For a while it worked - I had half my classes with the Charmer and even though C was in our Astronomy class it seemed like an unspoken rule that he wouldn't acknowledge it. It was pretty clear to keep our friendships separate. When it was French class, it was our time together. Practicing French oral speeches in study sessions, reading each other's assignments, talking about senior year plans - it was definitely good fun with never a dull moment.

When my house was over swamped with bed bugs (which are literally the worst things ever), he was really sympathetic when he saw me trying to learn to write with my left hand because of my swollen right arm. Given he was left handed, he patiently taught me how to and didn't tease me at all when he saw the messy scribbles. To make me feel better he showed me his right handwriting which was just as bad as mine. Later on he gave me this cool engineering pen to use to commemorate our writing lessons. 

Funny stories wise, I still remember the one time where he was so deep in  thought while walking in front of me. He didn't realise I was behind him. So when I called his name that he jumped midfeet in the air. That had me laughing for days!

Things only started to get weird after the Winter Formal, when he was oddly moody around me and sometimes wouldn't even talk to me.  Even though we were sitting side by side in French class. When I asked him about it, he just brushed it aside. Eventually he started to ignore me all together and sat in the opposite side of the room. Thankfully, Greg my locker buddy (who always had a perceptive eye knew what was going on), invited me to sit with him and his best friend Elliot so I could have some company. It was definitely one of those Taylor Swift, Story of Us moments - 'Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking. And I'm dying to know if it's killing you like it's killing me'.