Tales of Hopeless Romantic Fails

My Way

"Figured out a little bit about myself
Nothin' left of me if I am someone else."
Girl and the Dreamcatcher, My Way

Summer 2020

Dear Diary, 

This is the final chapter! So do I get my happy ending? You already know the answer- I don't end up meeting the guy that I'm meant to be with. That's totally more than fine though. Why? As much as I love NYC, I'm a lot happier and lighter in Florida. Plus I can go to Disney World whenever it strikes my fancy. Sorry NYC!

The story wouldn't be complete with just one more hopeless romantic fail right? What can I say? I just like to keep coming back for more (I kid, I kid). Although this one, I'm going to go right ahead and say it off the bat - a Promising Potential.

S the Promising Potential worked at the front desk of Space Florida. He was the first person I saw every morning when I walked in with my soy matcha latte and the first person I called whenever I had a technical issue I couldn't out with the meeting room tech. Hey, while I may be a Space project lead/scientist - it doesn't mean I know everything there is about tech! Every time he always happily helped me to fix whatever wasn't working.

At the beginning of our work relations, it would always be me yapping on way too much and him just listening. I'm like that with everyone, I like making new friends in the space industry. Usually in our conversations, I was always the one asking him questions (see I ask stuff not just ramble), it would always be short responses. Eventually though, I started to notice every time I walked in the morning by the desk, his eyes would always light up and smile more than usual (he's usually so serious). Look I may be clueless but not to the extent where I don't notice I'm someone's smiley reason. Now as you have listened to me vent endlessly over the past diary entries, you know it generally doesn't end well when it's route #2 in my guy friends theory. 

Although this one seemed a little different though... could this be it? As fate would have it, nope. The last time I saw him was when I was heading out for the day and walked pass his desk and said have a good weekend. To my surprise he asked me how my day was and was talking a lot more than usual like he didn't want the conversation to end. When his colleague showed up to wait for him to head home together, he still kept the conversation going (I kinda felt sorry for him being a third wheel). But the conversation was nice, we talked about weekend plans, his study plans and his sister's birthday (he was surprised I remembered, when he mentioned it in passing last time). Being mindful of his colleague getting slightly antsy and wanting to miss the impending next rain storm, I ended the conversation with wishing him a good weekend. While at the same time thinking, what was all that about?

Next thing I know, Monday rolled in and to my immense surprise S had been transferred to another building in Space Florida. So that was that, I did send him an email to the generic front desk email though but never heard back from him (front desk staff don't get individual emails, so couldn't email him directly). Now you're probably wondering, but why Hannah? This guy seemed like a Promising Potential, why not see where it goes? You know what my answer is, I have a no dating at work policy.

It was also the case of timing. Despite the fact that I never dated, I just wasn't ready to after the last interesting 9 years of hopeless romantic fails. It's enough to make any sane person put some guards up. 

Yet I'll always be thankful for having met him, it gave me hope that not all guys with the potential to date are all hopeless. That it will happen when I least expect it. When it does, it will suddenly make sense why it didn't work out with the ones before. Once a hopeless romantic, always one. Even though one half of me can be so damn realistic sometimes, the other will never stop hoping for love.