Can't Fake Love

Chapter 3

It hadn't really hit me, just yet. Regaining memories was quite a lot to comprehend and part of me was in denial.

Everything that had happened in the past year was fake. It was all an illusion and none of it had been real.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Emma put her hand on my shoulder and the gesture sent butterflies down to my stomach.

Emma and I weren't married. She wasn't my wife. It was all fake.

That reality was painful. It was true, but painful and part of me didn't want to believe it. Part of me wanted to go back to yesterday, when Emma and I were happily celebrating our anniversary.

My sight became blurry, because I forgot to blink and kept staring at the blonde. I closed my eyes for a second and felt Emma's soft lips against mine.

"I don't know what happened, sweetie, but I'm here. Do you need to go to a doctor? Are you okay?"

I pulled away from the Emma, evidently taking her by surprise, and swallowed. "Drink it." I handed her the potion and she looked confused at me.

"Really?"

"Mhm," I replied and looked at Killian. How had he found us?

I averted my eyes to Emma, who I now saw in an entire different light, and she looked at me before she drank the potion.

She shut her eyes for a moment, not more than three seconds. When she opened them, I knew she'd just regained all her memories.

It was something in the way she looked.

"Gina... Killian.." she muttered and slightly stepped back.

"I think it's time for us to talk," Killian suggested, but I rather talked to Emma alone.

Our family could wait five more minutes. I couldn't.

Emma nodded and started walking, followed by Killian, who tried to start a conversation with her. I didn't move.

I couldn't believe it. Everything in the past year had been fake. I now clearly recognized the difference between the fake memories and the memories I'd made last year.

There were so many stories living in my head all of the sudden...

I followed the two to the apartment. Emma and Killian were busy discussing everything that had been going on in the past year, but - like always - Killian didn't know a lot.

I listened to everything that was said, but I didn't bother interfering their conversation. All Killian knew was that we had to go back to Storybrooke and that we'd see what was going on there once we arrived.

"Okay," Emma said. We were sitting at the table. She and Hook were seated opposite each other and I sat at the head of the table. "We'll go this evening. Once Henry's back from school."

"Emma.." I didn't want to meddle, but it seemed irresponsible to just take Henry and go back to Storybrooke. He had a life here, he didn't know what was going on.

But Emma's glare was so stern and determined that I quickly shook my head and chuckled nervously. There was no way I could change that woman's mind and she seemed somewhat angry with me, but I didn't know why.

It wasn't my fault we'd ended up like this.

"You know.. I don't want to be here once the lad comes home, so I'm going to wander around in New York. I'll be back at eight," Killian said as he stood up and left the apartment.

The sound of the door closing was the sign that Emma and I were alone now. Even though I'd wanted to talk to her, now that we were alone, I wasn't that excited anymore.

And that was mainly because of how angry Emma looked. She almost never got mad, but right now she seemed to despise me.

"I, uh.. I think I'm going to take a nap," I said once I couldn't handle the silence anymore.

"Why?" Emma sounded confused and I finally met her gaze, which I now realized, I had avoided.

"Because I'm tired and need to clear my head."

"You never take naps," she stated blankly.

"Well, can you blame me, now?" I fired back and my posture slumped. I rubbed my temples and sighed loudly.

Emma gritted her teeth and tapped with her feet on the floor, annoying me immensely. "Yeah, kinda. When you created these memories, you could've seen this coming. Why did you make us a couple in the first place, Regina? Now, it's only going to be uncomfortable between us, but we have to act natural for Henry."

"Do you think I chose this? Do you think I'm happy to find out all we had was fake? An illusion? I truly loved you, Emma. I have never been happier than in the last year that Henry, you and I were a family. But when I created the memories, I hadn't chosen this. I created the memories in a way that made sure we three would stay together forever and it would make sense in our timeline and everything."

Emma seemed to not know what to say next, so we were left with a silence, yet again. I just looked at Emma as she looked at her fingernails.

"I'm going to take a nap," I repeated and shoved my chair back.

"So, you're still just walking away from a normal conversation?" Emma questioned and I nodded as I stood up.

"Mhm, yep. You're welcome to take a nap as well, I don't care. As long as I don't have to talk."

I felt Emma's eyes on me as I walked to the bedroom. Once I closed the door of the bedroom, I sighed loudly and not much later, tears rolled down my cheeks.

Everything around me that had been so real for the past year, was fake.

I didn't even bother dressing into my pajamas. I just kicked my shoes in the corner and crawled into bed. I'd closed my eyes, but tears kept escaping.

My back was turned to the door and I suddenly heard it close. I didn't bother turning around to look at Emma.

The bed dipped beside me and I immediately recognized Emma's scent. One that - despite the fact that I'd gained my memories - I loved so much.

She turned in the bed, trying to find the right position to sleep, which made me turn around to look at her.

Emma immediately calmed and her green eyes met my brown ones. "We'll work through this, Regina," she whispered and I smiled before I nodded. "Now, turn around."

I did as she asked - confused - and felt a warm arm gliding around my waist and Emma's body pressing closer to mine. The familiar feeling made me feel much better.

Although this past year had been fake, Emma wasn't. Nor Henry. I still had the people that mattered most to me in the world and whatever we went through, we would fix it.

I had no clue as to what this all meant for mine and Emma's relationship, but as I was wrapped in her arms, close to her warm body, it all didn't seem to matter.

It was as though nothing could harm us. Not some curse, nor some villain. We were able to defeat everyone, I was certain of that. And with that, we were able to save ourselves and our relationship - even if that meant being just friends - without making it awkward.

I had to admit that being married to Emma Swan had been better than I'd ever imagined and even though this was an entirely different Swan now, I knew that part of me had always wanted to be with her.

How Emma thought of me now, was totally unclear to me. I didn't even know what I thought of me now.

But wrapped in Emma's arms, I was certain of what I thought of Emma. I still loved her and regaining my memories hadn't changed that at all.

The only problem was that one handed wonder that was lurking at Emma to see when he could make his next move.