𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝙰𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗

08

   I start to walk out of the kitchen and hear Patrick calling for me. I block him out as my head is racing with millions of thoughts. I walk up the steps and into my bedroom. I hear him trailing behind me closely. What do I do?

Kick him out or do I leave?

Patrick comes storming through the door and my head snaps to him. "Please let me expla-"

I shake my head. "I think it's all pretty clear" What is there to explain? It's exactly what it looks like.

"Ellen I-" he reaches out for me but I take a step back distancing myself from him.

"No patrick, you need to go" I look down at my feet tears threatening to fall.

"I'm not leaving until you let me explain all of this" His voice raising slightly. I slowly shake my head. I look back up at him meeting his eyes in what felt like forever.

"You lied to me about going to a meeting and meet up with Jillian, what is there to explain Patrick?" My hands fly up and land back down at my side. He shakes his head at me.

"Just go" I say barley above a whisper. I look to the side knowing if I looked at him again I would break. He walks to his closest and grabs a bag and starts packing his clothes. Not wanting to sit out here and watch him, I walk to the bathroom and close the door, sliding down against it. My head falls into my hands and my tears start streaming down my face. I trusted him. He said he would never hurt me again. I finally felt happy again, but it was all gone so soon.

After what feels like an hour, I hear a knock on the door. I cant bring myself to reply.

"I'm leaving, I'm so sorry baby, I wish you would just let me explain." He sounded sad, but why? It's his fault after all. I don't say anything back, my head still in my hands and slumped against the door. I hear his footsteps fade and fade until I hear the front door close. My head falls back against the door looking up at the ceiling.

After almost an hour sitting on the floor I decide to get up. I get up on my wobbly legs and walk back into my bedroom. I look at the clock and it's only 8:34. What am I supposed to do?

I lay back down in my bed hoping to fall asleep and wake up and everything's back to normal, but I know that won't happen. I feel so lost, so broken. It takes time but I fall back asleep, hoping the sleep takes me somewhere different.

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I wake up with a jolt. The sun is shining through the window fully now meaning it's a little bit later. I look over to the clock and it's 11:46. I sit up and look over to the empty side of the bed. Patrick should be there.

I need to stop. I need to get my mind off this. I will move on just like I did last time. I get up and try to find something decent to wear out. I pick out jeans and a t shirt. Good enough.

I grab my phone, purse and keys and head out the front door.

I first drive to the grocery store needing to get a few things.

It only takes me about 45 minutes in there, I got the basics. I get back to my car already tired and wanting to go home.

My phone starts buzzing in the middle council and I look down at it. A name flashes across the screen makes my heart pound in my chest, Patrick.

I quickly turn it off so i'm not able to hear the buzzing.

I won't answer it, I can't.

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    It's been two weeks. Two whole weeks since i've seen Patrick. For awhile he wouldn't stop calling and texting but now it's maybe a text every other day. I don't look at them. I cant. I need to move on. I should block his number but every time I try I can't bring myself to do it.

It's a Sunday night and I'm making dinner for myself. Spaghetti. It's been quite around here, a little to quite. I have light music playing from the speakers.

I go to stir my noodles and I hear a knock at my door. It's 8pm, who is this? I shut off the music and wipe my hands on my shirt and walk to my front door. I unlock my door and open it.

There he is. One hand is on the door frame and the other was knocking. He hears me open the door and he straightens up quickly. He looks different.

"Sorry i-it's so late b-but I needed to come over here" He slurs his words.

He's drunk. Totally what I needed tonight. He steps into my house without asking but I just step to the side as he passes me to shocked to say anything.

I close the door and right when I turn back around he's right there, making me jump a little.

He's inches away from me. His hand lifts to the side of my face and his fingers go through my hair. 

"You cut your hair" And he's correct, It was the night about a week ago when I was having such a bad night and I though something needed to change and cutting my hair was the only thing I could think of.

I stand there frozen in shock.

"I like it" He smiles down at me. I shake my head lightly.

"Why are you here Patrick?" I say walking past him back into the kitchen. I quickly turn the heat down on the burner as the water almost boiled over.

I hear him walk into the kitchen and he finds a seat on one of the barstools.

I turn around to face him.

"Ellen you have to let me explain all-" He starts but i'm quick to interrupt.

"Patr-" but I get cut off quickly

"No Ellen, you've been ignoring all my texts AND my calls so I came here, you never heard my side of the story"

I close my eyes weighing my options. I thought it was all pretty clear what happened, but what if it wasn't?

I open my eyes and I meet his.

"Plea-" He starts but for what feels like the 100th time I hold my hand up stop him.

"Fine" I sigh out. I really hope i'm not just wasting my time.

Well see.

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Chapter was lowkey crappy and kinda short but next chapter will be better I promise!