Humanity: The Last Hope

Chapter 1.10: Tears

( Tiara )

   I exited the room where the horrible confession of my pitiful self previously occurred. I remained the gentle smile etched on my face as i walk towards the garden where i usually go whenever i was feeling incredibly furious, and depressed.

As the sight of the roses and the bushes came in to my view, the facade i was holding on after a long walk, broke down like glass that was long broken, trying to maintain the glass shape...

The tears kept falling, it won't stop whatever i do, wiping won't do anything, taking deep breaths won't do as well. Even though i kept it buried in my past, i was stupid to even think i escaped this excruciating pain swelling in my chest, the pain of having your parents not love you back, not even care about you, your whole existence. At this moment, the only picture that stayed in my mind was the cold stare of their eyes.

The pain in my chest is so painful, this pain of betrayal, this abandonment that i kept for a long time was getting stronger and stronger by every sobs and tears my eyes spilled.

Why is my own family, my enemy?

I can't understand why they always care about power, and power alone. Greed kept eating them alive, turning them into monsters that eat other people alive, turning them into monsters as well.

Why can't be my family simple? I just want their love, to look at me with warmth and an overflowing affection. That's what i was longing for, parents that shower their child, love and care.

Am I such a monster for them to look at me like that?

Aren't they also a monster?

I felt my throat getting hurt, bile rising. These endless tears kept coming, they didn't stop even though my eyes started to sting. I haven't cry for so long, and these chaotic feelings was bottled up, was overflowing. It cannot close anymore, it cannot stop from flowing endlessly.

"Milady?" I suddenly stopped when i heard Cyrus's voice behind me, I stopped myself from turning my head to face him. I can't show him my emotions! I can't show him how weak I am! I have to be strong!

I quietly swallowed my saliva, "C- Cyrus?" It didn't come smoothly, it was noticeable from my voice that I was crying and how long I cried.

  I didn't hear him speak, instead i heard the grass getting louder, coming towards me. I began to panic and raised my voice.

"Don't come here!!" This time i heard his steps came to a halt. This kind of face that i was making, you can't see this. I don't want you to think that I am pathetic, that I am weak, and incapable of doing anything.

  Just you knowing that i cried is enough, you don't have to get close to me anymore. "Milady, " Surprised that i heard his voice, whispering close to my ear - i got startled and immediately looked at him.

  "What are you doing! I said that you can't come close to me!" I quickly covered my face with my arms, but his strength that pulled my arms away are enough for him to take a close look at my wet face, cover in dried and fresh tears.

  His face looked hurt as soon as he saw my face, the genuine pain when you look at someone hurt, and shared their pain. He gently caressed my cheeks, looking straight at my eyes. His touch sends thousands of boltz in my body, i feel electrocuted. My face that was numb from tears were tingling, and it tickled me when he brushed over it. My heart that was previously painfully throbbing, is now throbbing in a different painful way. This kind of pain that gives me such pleasure, that feeling when something is stirring your chest in a mess of circle - endlessly giving me flutters.

"You don't have to hide these tears away from me, Milady. I want to see the whole you, i want to know your person that you have been hiding. I want to be the person who knows you the best."