Kissing Booth: Another Take

Chapter 7

"I think we should talk," she stated. "Don't you?" she reasoned.

Of course I did but I didn't know where to start. "Yeah. I think we should."

"I haven't seen or talked to you in six months," she said. "Since we..."

"Since you," I corrected, "Broke up with me." I couldn't help but be annoyed. There was no 'we' in that decision that was made 6 months ago.

She glowered at me, "My phone wasn't ringing off the hook with any sort of resolutions, Flynn." She used my last name. Originally I hated when she would call me Noah. She would be the only one insistent on using my first name as if she refused to give into the hype of who I was at school. But when we started dating I loved it. It was like she called me by my real name because she knew me better than anyone else, because she saw me for who I really was. So whenever she did call me by my surname again, it always felt like a dig and I'm pretty sure it was intentional.

"I didn't know what I could say to you. It was all so out of the blue I figured you had been thinking about it already, that you had your mind made up," I shot back. She frowned. Obviously this hit a nerve.

"So, I messed things up huh?" she said with a sad smile.

I looked back at her unhappily. Of course not, that's not what I was trying to say.

"More like I did right?" I asked a little bitter, "Just par for the course for Flynn."

She shook her head, her hand absentmindedly moving up my arm to the side of my face. I instinctually moved my head to lean further into it, her eyes looking down to my lips. "Elle," I said raspy, my face already nearing hers.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry," she pulled her hand away, as if suddenly aware of her proximity to me. She sat up so she wasn't lying parallel to me, settling on crossing her legs and sitting on them to look at me. She let out a shaky laugh, running her hands through her hair. I noticed the way her hands shook as she did so.

"That was just like a reflex!" She exaggerated. "Like a program in a robot beep beep boop must kiss Noah," she rambled, mimicking her arms making jolting movements like she had no joints. I laughed. She was insane in the best way. It was nice to see that for as much as she changed, she was still her goofy self, fun loving self. She laughed with me and it felt so nice, and so normal.

Both of our laughter died down and a silence set in. I didn't know where to start but I could try. 

"Elle," mimicking her stance to sit up across from her. "I'm really sorry for not being honest with you that day and not telling you what was really going on," I admitted, this time I reached out and put my hand on her leg. Her eyes went from following my hand to looking at me, "I was scared of a lot of things. I still am."

She gave me a sad look, "I wish you could have just been direct with me that day. I've talked to Chloe and now I know that I was overreacting but it just felt like I didn't even know you anymore. I felt like someone else was becoming the person who knew you most and that hurt so bad," she said her voice shaking. I knew she was holding back her tears.

"I'm so sorry, Elle. I was just embarrassed and I thought that you of all people, with your relationship with Lee, would understand mine with Chloe," I admitted. "I missed you so much out there and I just wanted to feel like someone was in my corner. Chloe is so smart and she was helping me balance everything and I really thought our friendship wasn't a big deal."

She scoffed at me, "Noah, if it was nothing then why did you hide it? If you had told me that I would've understood. But you wouldn't tell me any of it," she asked. I could tell she was getting annoyed.