Wandering Papers

Emma (ch 37)

It was Monday and a completely normal day. Everything was just as it was until Tyler entered the classroom. I knew I had to face him again someday but I wasn’t ready yet. All the feelings that I’ve been trying to avoid all these days just came back to me as soon I saw him. I felt like hugging him so tight and never let him go. I tried to smile but he just looked away from me. I was so hurt. I guess he probably moved on. But I decided not to reach to a conclusion right away and instead I will try speaking with him. I waited for a right time to speak with him. I tried talking with him near his locker but I was interrupted by Dave. Then I decided I will talk to him during lunch but he did not show up altogether. I searched the entire campus and found him sitting with Dean and eating. I realised that he was avoiding me completely. I became more sure when he wouldn’t even look at me once in the entire day. Then I felt so pathetic because I was so desperate to talk to him while he was just acting like I am not even present in the world.
I kept thinking about him the whole evening. I decided I should just move on like he did. I tried distracting myself. I finished my school work. I prepared dinner for everyone. I tried reading. Nothing worked. I couldn’t take my mind of him. These two weeks were really hard for me but today was even harder. The coming will also be equally harder if I don’t do something about him. But right now I could really use a distraction. I called Jenn and she offered to come over for a sleepover. We don’t usually do sleepovers during weekdays. But thank god she offered. I told my mom and she was okay about it.
Jenn came around 8 PM. She said she needed some help with school work. We together finished hers since I already finished mine. Then we decided to bake cookies, one of my many favourite things to do with Jenn because we usually end up eating half of the cookie dough. Later we watched an 80’s movie and ending up crying because of the tragic love story. We stalked a lot of people on instagram and clicked some pictures. At last we were out of things to do. Then we decided we should talk. I told her how I felt and she listened without complaining. I started sobbing half way. She consoled me. She said I should move on. She told that I should first delete his chats and number. I did that immediately because at that moment it felt right. Later she said that I should start dating other guys. But she knew that isn’t gonna happen. So she said that I should just text that guy from the Bookstagram page. To be frank, that idea seemed perfect. So I searched my DM’s for “wandering papers”. I did not even care that it was midnight. I just texted him. We waited for almost an hour but there was no reply. We just gave up and slept.