Wandering Papers

Tyler (ch 34)

I wake up in the hospital. I look around. I find no one. I call the nurse. She comes inside and immediately calls the doctor. I ask her “For how many days was I here?”. She says that was I in the hospital for the past 3 days. The doctor comes and examines my vitals. Later I was given food. My mom comes around 2 in the afternoon. She was so happy to see me conscious. The first thing I asked her was about Emma. She doesn’t say anything until a few minutes. I asked her again. Then she says, “She was here till yesterday night. She didn’t stop crying from the day you were admitted. When I called her an hour back, she didn’t answer her phone. I called her mom and asked her to tell Emma that u gained consciousness. Emma’s mom called back saying that Emma doesn’t want to meet you. Even she doesn’t know the reason since Emma wouldn’t tell”. Suddenly I felt sick. I felt nauseous. My mom starts to get tensed. I tell her it’s fine. I tell her that I’d like to sleep. She leaves and I try to sleep. I can’t stop myself from thinking about Emma. I don’t want to think about it. I always sleep when I don’t feel good. It’s like an escape from all the overthinking. I end up thinking all sorts of stuff. I try figuring out the reason but couldn’t. I convinced myself that whatever the reason maybe for Emma’s decision it must've been because of me. I decided to respect her decision. I won’t call her or text her until she does. I know it’s going to be really hard but it’s better because I don’t want to bother her. I fall asleep after a long time. Later I was awoken by the doctor. He said that I could go home tomorrow. After he leaves, I start checking my phone. I delete Emma’s chat box from my messages and Instagram. Just then Dean arrives. I was happy to see him there. He was the only one who always used to come to the hospital whenever I was in there. He always sneaks food for me. I was able to take my mind off Emma all the time when Dean was there. But during the night, it’s was miserable.