The Loud House: Oneshots (Completed)

My Hero

By: "BladeSword-91" at Devianart

[April, Friday, 4:00 pm Loud Residence, Living Room]

(Lincoln is playing a co-op first-person shooter campaign story with Clyde via headset.)

Lincoln: "Alright, I've got the whole enemy base scouted. How would you like to approach this?"

Clyde: "I would go with stealth unless you want to go guns blazing."

Lincoln: "Pfftt. That's something LJ would do. Though I can provide a distraction while you sneak in the base. How about that?"

Clyde: "Good idea."

Lincoln: "I find it hard to believe that Mr and Mr McBride would let you play this."

Clyde: "They said as long as the blood is turned off, it's fine, though my dad still gets queasy from seeing me snap an enemy's neck."

Lincoln: "uh...Mr Howard McBride, right?"

Clyde: "Yep."

Lincoln: "Thought so."

Dang it!

Clyde: "What was that?"

Lincoln: "It sounded like Lana. Meh, it's probably nothing. Maybe her reptiles got loose...again."

Clyde: "I'll say."

HELP! I'M STUCK IN A TREE!!

Lincoln: "What?!"

Leni: "I think she said, like, "Help! I'm stuck in-"

Lincoln: "I heard what she said, Leni! (to Clyde) Clyde, I'll be back in a minute."

Clyde: "But this game doesn't let us pause!"

Lincoln: "I know, right? Such a dumb game design choice!"

HELP!

Lincoln: "Oh right Lana!"

(Lincoln runs to the backyard tree to find Lana, hanging upside down by her overall straps.)

Lana: "Lincoln! Get me down from here!"

Lincoln: "How the heck did you get up there?!"

Lana: "There was a garden snake stuck up here, so I climbed up to rescue it."

Lincoln: "Without a ladder?"

Lana: "Heh-heh, well I was gonna use it, but I wanted to test out my climbing skills LJ taught me."

Lincoln: *sigh* "Why am I not surprised?"

Lana: "I tried to wiggle around a little, but it looks like my overalls are caught. I'm gonna be stuck up here forever!"

Lincoln: "Remain calm, Lana! I think I have an idea, but I'm not sure you'll like it."

Lana: "Just tell me! Anything to get me down from here!"

Lincoln: "Ok ok. You said that you're caught right? I want you to take your pants off and I'll catch you."

Lana: "Eh, I'm not sure about that."

Lincoln: "I know, I know. Being in your underwear can be embarrassing, but it's the only way to-

Lana: "No, I meant are you sure you're gonna catch me? Cause you don't have the best track record of catching stuff."

(Flashback)

Lynn Jr: "Hey Stinklon. Think fast!"

Lincoln: "Wha-?"

(A football hits his head)

WHACK!!!

Lincoln (slurred): "Hi, honey, I'm home!" (faints)

(End of flashback)

Lincoln: "Lana that doesn't matter right now! Just trust me on this one, OK? I'm going to catch you, no matter what."

Lana: "...OK...I trust you."

(Lana unstraps her overalls and starts swinging herself out of her pants.)

Lana: "One...two...Three!"

(Lana falls)

Lana: "LINCOLN!!!"

(With every ounce of strength, Lincoln leaps towards Lana, reaches out his arms, and-)

THUD!

Lincoln: "...Gotcha."

(Lincoln sighs a breath of relief as he lays on the ground with Lana on top of him, held in his arms.)

Lincoln: "Are you OK?"

Lana: "That was scary...and fun! Wow I haven't felt this thrilled since I dived into a dumpster."

Lincoln: "...Gross. How's the garden snake?"

(The garden snake comes out of Lana's hat.)

Lana: "He's fine. I'm gonna call him Viper cause of his bravery."

Lincoln: "Lana...I'm glad your safe. Don't ever pull that kind of stunt again. Because I care about you. (smiles) I love you, little sis."

Lana (warmly): "Thanks, big brother. You're my hero."

(Lana happily kisses Lincoln's cheek. Lana gets off of Lincoln as he picks himself up off the ground.)

Lincoln: "So, want me to get you another pair of pants?"

Lana: "Actually, I don't feel like wearing them right now. I was getting hot in those anyway. Besides, I actually like these polka dot undies. I think I'm gonna be like this for the rest of the day."

Lincoln: "You and me both."

Lana: "Wait, you didn't have pants the whole time?"

(Pans out to reveal Lincoln in his Ace-Savvy boxer briefs.)

Lincoln: "What? I was playing a video game. You know how I am."

Lana: "Can I watch?"

Lincoln: "Well, I'm gonna have to turn off the blood so-"

Lana: "Oh please, I've gotten myself bruised and cut from fixing cars all the time. It's not gonna traumatize me."

Lincoln: "OK. Do you wanna watch me play...Undie Buddy?" (winks)

Lana: "Sure thing, Undie Buddy."

(Lincoln and Lana give each other a warm hug before going inside.)

[Later]

(As Lincoln is playing his game and Lana watches, Lola approaches.)

Lola: "Hey Linky, can you-"

(She pauses for a few seconds to see Lincoln and Lana on the couch without their pants. They both look at her. Lola gives a funny blank stare.)

Lola: "...Never mind."

(Lola walks away. Lincoln and Lana give each other a fist bump.)

THE END