No Name [Ereri/Riren Fanfic] [COMPLETED]

Chapter Seventeen

     "You like that?"

     "N-no! Get y-your hands o-off of me!"

     "What did I tell you before? Behave and your little band will thrive, unless you want you and your little sewer rat friends to starve out there."

     "No! I-I don't want that for them! T-they deserve b-better!"

     "Then behave!"

     *Slap*

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     I woke with a start and took in some much needed air into my lungs. I could feel my heart thumping hard and fast in my chest and droplets of cold sweat beading down my face. I thought I had gotten past my trauma from back then, but it seems that I haven't. I hate that man with a burning passion, so much so I'm surprised I've kept him around all this time. I just need to forget about it and move on, that's all. I started to get up but realized I couldn't... more like someone didn't want me to get up. When I looked over to see who was holding me down I was taken aback.

     "Eren?"

     "Hey."

     "What're you doing here?"

     "I heard faint shouts from the practice room, so I came to see what was happening only to find H and M around your bed. You were in terrible condition, L."

     "... I didn't mean to make you all worried..."

     "We know, but still. As much as you go on telling me that you'll be there for me and everyone else in the band, who's going to be there for you when you need it most?"

     His question made me stare at him with blankness and slight confusion. Up until this point I knew I'd only need myself whenever I needed it most, but looking back on that now I'm starting to think that I haven't made much progress in getting better. He was right though, I didn't have anyone I could possibly count on to be there for me... but that was because I never bothered to open up to anyone enough for them to do that for me. Maybe I've been subconsciously depending on Eren just to fill that missing piece within myself? That might be the reason, but I wouldn't know.

     I sighed and laid back down in my bed, rolling over so the brunet wouldn't see my face. As much as I was happy to see him, I couldn't face him after I had cried in front of him last night... or the night before? What time was it? I didn't know.

     "Say Eren? Where's my clock?"

     "Oh, it's over here. It's almost a quarter past eight."

     "What?! How long was I out for?!"

     "Since noon or so."

     "Eight hours? I was out eight hours?"

     "Give or take, yeah."

     I brought a hand to my face and shut my eyes tightly, trying to get all my thoughts together. I needed a way to get rid of all these jumbled thoughts and feelings but nothing has presented itself to me yet. Everything was starting to make me dizzy from even thinking about how I felt, because at this point I don't know how to describe my feelings anymore. I've never been stressed or confused about anything like this before, so it was really frustrating that I couldn't come forth with it all to the one person these emotions grew for.

     I need to tell him how I feel, but I can't because if I do there's no going back. Besides, we've only known each other for about a few week at most, so I couldn't have fallen for him this quickly... right? I keep telling myself that but no matter how many times I do, I can't stop myself from... from loving him. I love him. I really do, and I want to express that in a way that he'll understand without me saying those three words. Damn it! Why is love so complicated?!

     "L?"

     "Huh?"

     "You were spacing out again. Seriously, I've noticed that you've been doing that more frequently these past few days. Is there something you want to tell me?"

     "What? What makes you say that?"

     "You're easy to read, believe it or not."

     "Well, so are you... damn brat..."

     "If you don't want to tell me that's fine, just know that if you ever want to talk I'm right here."

     It was at this point that I had looked over my shoulder slightly to see Eren's face. He wore the same gentle and soft expression he wears whenever he's being considerate or caring. It was a face I grew to love just as much as the person whose face belonged to. I looked away almost sorrowfully and rested my head back on my pillow as a way to escape from his soothing gaze, but he notices the littlest things when it comes to me and so he leaned closer to me and pulled me in with his hand.

     "L, let me help you. Let me be the one you need when you think everything is crashing down around you. You can do the same for me; we can help each other. I just... I just want you to feel better... I know that something is eating at you and I want to make it go away like you did with my nightmares. Please, L, open up to me at least."

     I tried my best to keep him out of my field of sight, but his voice flowed like the sweet melodies my mother would sing to me. So soft and sweet, like that of a mother's song warding off the nightmares of the world around her and her infant. I missed my mother so much... I missed Isabelle, and Farlan, and Kenny even... I hated being alone; I loathed it. I clenched my eyes even tighter before sighing in defeat and opening them once more. I rolled over and sat up, facing Eren this time.

     "... Fine... But not because you told me to, got it?"

     I could practically hear the brunet smile when I gave my response, but what came afterward took me off guard. The brunet had opened his arms and gingerly wrapped them around me, cradling the back of my head and my back. At first I had no idea as to why he was doing this, and so my surprise only grew. However, Eren rested his chin in the crook of my neck and whispered quietly into my ear.

     "I wish we could stay like this forever. You make everything seem so bright and warm. It comforts me a great deal... I just hope and wish that it's the same for you..."

     I could only gasp internally. By saying this, does this mean that the person he's got eyes for is...? No, it couldn't be... It couldn't...

     My mind continued to ponder the answer, but my arms seemed to know it already as they had slowly grasped the brunet's back tightly, pulling him closer than he already was. I was shocked by my actions but I soon buried my head into the nook of his neck and took everything in, his scent, his warmth, his heartbeat, his breaths. Right then and there, I felt as though I was meant to be by his side. That I was supposed to melt right into him in moments like these. God, I wanted to hold so close, closer than we are now, and just hold him in my embrace.

     More than anything, I wanted to stay with him like this for an eternity. 

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Here's chapter seventeen! I was about halfway done writing this and ran out of ideas at the start. Today, I got home, did my homework, and was thinking of writing some more on a "script" for a Webtoon I'm working on with a friend of mine when I came across a playlist on YT, and boy did it give me some good ideas for me to write with. The playlist is specifically for writing XD but it's my kind of "genre" I've been vibing to these past few weeks now. Anyway, Levi is seriously acting like the adorable little sub so far... should he be the sub in this fic or the dom as he is in all the others? I'm thinking of making him sub cuz of the way he's been acting this whole time, but at the same time I want to make him dom so that he doesn't have to relive any bad memories. We'll see what happens I guess, or you guys can choose for me in the comments!

I do read all the comments I get, I just don't reply cuz I think some don't want a reply from the author while others would love to have a reply from the author... So it's hard to tell who wants what, so I don't reply. Unless they need clarification on something, that's probably the only time I'll reply to anyone for now. Anyway, I really enjoy reading all your comments so please feel free to leave some every now and then :) That's enough from me, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!

~ Author-san