𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 • ellie williams

8 - shes awake?

this chapter is still Ellie's POV

8

i haven't been in the best state. i was tired and hungry but I refused to sleep or eat. i just wanted to stay by her side and make sure she was okay. she's not only my girlfriend but my family. the only family I have left.

i felt a hand on my shoulder.

"how are you doin Ellie?"

Tommy..

"fine" I said bluntly. i have been really short with Tommy lately but I haven't told him why. i'm not sure if it's cause I've been emotional or that I'm trying not to blame myself but I was mad at him.

he frowned and said "you at least need to eat... y/n wouldn't want you to starve yourself".

i didn't respond to him and just looked down at her face. everyday she looks more and more lifeless but I know her heart is still beating I make sure a lot. i can't lose her.

Tommy sighed then looked down at y/n.

"why did you do it" I said to him but not making eye contact.

he tilted his head and asked "what?".

"why did you tell us where Abby is... why we're you putting stress on her saying that she would let me down if she didn't let me go!! you knew she would come with me so why?! she.....she wouldn't be in this state if she just stayed.." I said starting to choke up.

i did blame Tommy a little. but I blamed myself more.

i could tell I made Tommy feel bad but honestly I didn't care right now. i have been wanting to tell him this for awhile but i was just too tired to deal with it.

"i've been beating myself over that for a bit and I feel terrible... I shouldn't have pressured her to go or you I guess... I just couldn't live with the fact that the person who killed Joel but now I realize how much danger I put you two through" Tommy said looking down at her. he genuinely looked like he felt bad.

i sighed then looked down at my side. they had fixed it up better than what y/n did but y/n was still lying here unconscious.

she was connected to machines to keep her alive. she hasn't woken up either. i just need to see her. but awake not unconscious.

Tommy sighed then said "cmon we should go get some dinner... we all have a big day tomorrow and need to rest up". i nodded deciding to get some food in me to get my strength up.

there was always a doctor in there looking after her so she would be alright. i hope.

i followed Tommy to the restaurant and they already ordered food for me. Dina and Maria were there as well.

i sat next to Dina and they all gave me sympathetic looks. I hated it.

"how are you feeling?" Dina asked me.

"fine"

i've been short with everyone lately but it's just that I was weak and stressed out. if I knew y/n was okay I would sleep but I don't know if she is ok.

i can't sleep knowing she could die any day or wake up any time soon. i don't wanna miss it.

we all ate our food silently and it felt good to get some food in me. but I was rushing to get back to y/n as well.

'maria'

i looked at her walkie then at her.

"this is her" she said talking into her walkie.

'y/n woke up' the man said.

i dropped everything I quickly got out of my chair and ran quickly to the emergency room. i had to see her. I couldn't miss her.

when I got there I quickly opened the door and I saw her. her eyes were open but she looked weak. she was answering the doctors questions.

she looked at the door when I opened it and once she saw me she started... crying.

i walked up next to the bed and held her hand. tears fell down my cheeks and I said "hi..".

"hey" she said weakly with a small smile.

i calmed myself down and asked her "how are you feeling". the doctors left the room for us to be alone and I pulled up a chair next to her bed.

"like a million bucks" she said sarcastically. even in this state she was still the same.

i gently put my hand on her cheek and rubbed my thumb back and forth. i wiped away her tears then said "i'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you". me and y/n were very emotional.

"it isn't your fault I chose to come with you... I'm not gonna die on you yet babe" y/n said smiling a bit.

her smile faded when she saw the state i was in.

"Ellie... you need to get some sleep you look terrible" she said with a frown.

"i will I promise I just... i needed to see you awake" I said just looking at her with a smile. just seeing her looking back at me is enough to make me happy.

i'm glad she's awake this is all I needed. i never wanted this to end but I knew she would pass out again hopefully not soon but I know it was gonna happen.

she shifted a bit and winced in pain and I quickly stopped her and said "hey hey... take it easy alright? your still hurt pretty badly".

we talked for a few minutes and then she asked "what's gonna happen to me?".

"your gonna... go through surgery but I'll be here when you wake up and I'll be rested as well" I said calmly not telling her that well... she could possibly die.

ever since she woke up her skin color was starting to come back but she was getting paler again. she was about to pass out again. her breathing became heavy and I was scared but I knew she was gonna be okay.

i gently pecked her lips and said "I love you y/n".

"I-I love you too..." she said as her eyes started to get heavy. she soon passed out and I called the doctor back in.

i walked outside and sat down on the bench.

tomorrow's the day.

she's gonna go through surgery tomorrow.