Natsuki and Yuri both just left the clubroom, leaving me and Sayori behind. I look over at her, feeling nervous for some reason, and wait for her to finish packing up her stuff so I could lock the door. I noticed her glance at me for a few second, smile then turn back to her stuff, slowly dropping each item into her bag. Her smile was nice and it made me feel warm inside, a complicated feeling that I didn't want to understand anymore. I still don't understand how I fell for her so quickly, maybe it's desperation or the need to fulfill my own desires, perhaps I want someone to make me feel better about myself. I don't really know what I want anymore, good friends? I already have those. A girlfriend? Don't think I'll be getting one anytime soon. A future? Not so sure about that. Happiness? I don't deserve that anymore.
"Are you ready to go Monika?" she said, tapping my shoulder which made me flinch.
"Oh, y-yeah, let's go," I said, trying to play it off cool.
I started to head towards the door but I felt Sayori hold onto my wrist and gently pull me back. I was met by her eyes, which looked up at me with slight concern and confusion. I smiled awkwardly at her, realising her close I was to her and how that made me feel.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"W-What? I'm fine," I replied.
"No you're not, I can tell when you're upset," Sayori said, sliding her hand down my wrist until in was in my hand.
I hesitated, feeling bad for worrying her, I don't want her to be troubled in any way. As much as I wanted to tell her, I didn't want to dump my worries and issues onto her, she's been through enough.
"It's nothing much, just a bit of a moody episode, it'll pass soon," l said, squeezing her hand to reassure her.
"Are you sure? I'm still worried."
"Yeah, there's no need to be worried about me, I'm perfectly fine," I replied.
"Okay, if you say so," she said.
She quickly glanced down at our hands which were still linked together and giggled, making me blush from embarrassment. I instantly let go, feeling awkward once again and a little sad that our moment had passed.
"Sorry," I muttered, "we should probably go now."
"Good idea," she skipped out of the room, I followed her.
I locked the door behind us and we walked out of the school in an awkward silence. Things had been like this between us for a couple of days now, I wanted to break this silence.
"So how have you been?" I asked.
"Things haven't changed but it's okay, I'm alright," Sayori answered, smiling at me.
The smile looked a little forced, I could see the pain behind the facade.
"Are you sure? You can always talk to me Sayori," I said.
"Well, like I said, not much has changed but I like it like that. I like that things are still the same," she replied, her voice sounding sad.
"Well, I just want to make sure your okay," I said.
"I know you do, Moni, and I appreciate that a lot," she said.
Moni? She's given me a nickname? My heart fluttered a little hearing this and I chuckled at this feeling. She looked up me, confused.
"When did you think of the nickname then?" I asked.
"Oh god, it just came to me. I'm sorry," she giggled, covering her slightly pink face.
YOU ARE READING
A new reality (Sayonika)
FanfictionThe main character, Ryan, makes the good decision of ignoring Sayori's pleas for him to join the literature club and instead heading towards the anime club. This is where the story changes and the girls soon have their own choices to make. Sayori is...