A new reality (Sayonika)

Natsuki

I sat there, a little surprised by the words that Sayori had suddenly blurted out. When had she figured this out? I wasn't against it but I just hadn't been expecting her to so suddenly tell me. I thought about it for a moment and it made sense to me, Sayori expressed love towards everyone, Sayori loved everyone, she always looked at their personality first and not their looks. After a minute of silence, I decided to break through the awkwardness with a smile.

"Of course, it makes sense," I said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"It means that I understand, Sayori and I'm here for you," I answered, pulling her close to me for a hug.

I could feel her body start to shake, probably from the oncoming sobbing but I never let go, she needed me.

"When did you realise this then?"

"A few days ago, I've been harbouring some pretty deep feelings for someone," she whispered into my shoulder.

"Can I ask who it is? Or do you want to keep quiet while you try to figure this shit out?" I asked.

"No, no, I'll tell you, I... need to let it all out," she sniffed, letting go of me and contemplating her next words carefully.

"Take your time, I don't need instant answers you know," I replied, seeing her find difficulty in building her courage and sentences.

"O-Okay, give me a minute," Sayori closed her eyes in thought.

I waited patiently for her to think about what she was gonna say, she was obviously finding this more difficult than both of would have liked, I felt bad that I had even asked in the first place. After a while she finally opened her eyes and took a deep breath before answering.

"I don't even know why I feel like this, I've never found it easy to understand my emotions. I just want to feel normal but I'm not normal, I know I'm not... but since I met Monika, things have changed. I feel nice and warm when I'm around her and I feel... weird things as well," she said, confirming my previous suspicions.

"Weird in what way?"

"I don't know! I like it but I also don't like it? It makes me feel fuzzy inside," she answered.

Immediately knowing what she was thinking due to some unfortunate things in my past, I sympathised with Sayori, placing my hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"Did you pay attention during sex-Ed?" I asked.

"... No, I found it too gross and I didn't listen properly," she replied, looking at the floor like a puppy that was being scolded by its owner for shitting on the carpet.

"I did as well but at least I listened to the bull-shit they spewed during those lessons," I said jokingly, rubbing small circles into her back.

"I know but it was disgusting! And I don't plan on doing... that any time soon," Sayori said defensively.

"S-Same here," I stuttered.

I feel my mood drop instantly as I remember the first time I had been forced into activity without any consent, the sweat running off of his body onto mine, the burning shower I took afterwards when he passed out in his room, trying to get his stench of booze out of my hair and the feeling of him off of my skin, the endless tears I faced as I hid in my room, I felt ashamed of myself and decided to keep quiet for the time being, Sayori was a high priority right now.

"I don't know how strong my feelings toward Monika are right now but I know that I want..." her voice trailed off as her pale face flushed pink.

"That's a pretty strong feeling Sayori, if you really want that then you like her more than you think," I replied.

"Really?"

"You want her to fuck your brains out, right?"

"That's not what I-"

"You're not fooling me, I know that's exactly what you want. Anyways-" I quickly stifled a laugh before continuing, "those are some intense feelings. That means you trust Monika to snatch away the one thing many want to keep."

"What's that?" she asked.

"Your virginity."

"Oh..."

"No one would do that unless they're drunk, desperate or... for other reasons," I said, "means you like her a lot more than you think."

"How do I deal with it then? She obviously wants to be my friend," Sayori said, looking upset once again.

I suddenly remember Monika's crush on Sayori and consider telling her but decide against it, those feelings should be released by her own accord, not by what's more convenient. I smile to myself and inwardly sigh with relief, this story was going to have a happy ending.

"Well, when it comes to your romantic feelings, tell her only if you feel its necessary. When you're horny though," I grin at her as her face went even redder, "you figure that out yourself."

"But I can't!" she whined, it giving up the conversation.

"I'm not telling you how to please yourself, I'm not a professional and it's none of my business really," I replied.

Sayori backed down, looking defeated by my words, and pouted at me in a final attempt for sympathy. I rolled my eyes and laughed, happy to see her acting like her normal self for once, her mood had seemed to change rapidly in the last few minutes.

"And you never know, Monika may surprise you, I'm no expert on romance but I know that a plot twist always appears at some point in the story," I say, standing up from the sofa to get some orange juice and a chocolate bar from the fridge, I memorised the contents of her fridge during the sleepover and noticed a lot of sugary foods.

"But I don't wanna lose what we have now!" I heard her grumble loudly from the living room.

"You never know Sayori, you never know."