A new reality (Sayonika)

Monika

It was club time, finally... After my day off school, I hoped I didn't miss too much, Sayori messaged me to tell me they decided to cancel as Yuri was off school yesterday as well. But now that we both appeared to be back and well, the club was also back, I wasn't sure what we'd get up to today, I felt the need to write itch at my brain so maybe I could satiate that by writing a poem. Everyone else would probably decide on what they wished to do by themselves like they typically did so it wouldn't be a problem.

I enter the clubroom and find it empty, as per usual I'm one of the first people here. Huh, this is actually a good opportunity to write something. I sit down and pull out my pencil case and notebook, pondering over how I'm feeling and how that should be put into words on the paper. I tap my pen on the page and begin.

Is this?

What is this I feel?
This buzzing in my chest
Electrifying my heartbeat
And putting my body to the test.

What is this I feel?
Heat blooming in my face.
My pale cheeks turn red
as I try to match this pace.

What is this I feel?
Clouds fogging up my brain
They let me soar sky-high
until down pours the rain.

I don't know what this could be.
This longing then disappointment
My mind has answers I need to unlock
To know where my heart went.

So please, go easy on me
I'm fragile when cracked
These feels are what keep me together
As they were always what I lacked.

I smiled, satisfied with what I had written. I'm more in touch with how I feel since I spoke to grandma, she opened my eyes properly, trust an old woman to be so wise. The door opened and I looked up to see Sayori walk inside the clubroom, looking rather tired, I had a feeling this wasn't going to be a good day for her.

"Hey cinna-bun," I said as she sat in the desk next to me, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just didn't sleep so good last night," she replied, giving me a smile.

I wasn't so sure that was the exact truth but I didn't want to upset her by pressing the matter so I backed down and gave her a gentle pat on the back.

"I'm glad to see you, I missed you a lot," Sayori said.

"I missed you too," I replied, holding back the urge to give her forehead a little kiss.

"Are you writing a poem? Can I see?" she asked after noticing the paper on my desk.

"Maybe when the others come, it's not exactly ready yet," I replied.

Now look at the one who's lying, I don't even know why I got so nervous about her seeing it. Maybe it because I know the poem is about how I feel for her and I don't want her to get the wrong idea, the last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable and then have her dislike me for it. We've been through so much, I feel like we deserve something good, I feel like I deserve something good.

"Boo, I love your poems Moni," she said, pouting at me.

"I know you do but I can't give you something unfinished, that would just be disappointing," I said.

"I've never been disappointed in you, and I never will be!" Sayori said.

I smiled at her reassuringly, I didn't think she was but I didn't want to disappoint her ever, she deserves so much.

We're interrupted by someone walking in, that someone being Yuri who also looked rather tired... maybe I should end today's meeting early. Wait no, what about Natsuki? I can't send her home early, not with her dad lurking about. I'll figure it out later, I should concentrate on saying hi to my friend right now.