Red Butterflies

Chapter 1

Falling, falling, falling AIR RAID SIREN! Shit, alarm. I reached my arm out and felt around on my bedside table for my phone that’s alarm was repetitively going off. I found it and then knocked it off on the table where it hit the ground. I rolled from my side onto my stomach and stretched, lifted my head up and then dropped it again face planting the pillow.  It was yet another morning where I thought the same thing I did as the last morning, the same as I thought for the past year, “Why did I wake up again?” I rubbed my eyes and threw the blanket off of me revealing my olive skinned legs. I flicked my legs off of the bed and stood up wriggling my toes between the soft mats on the floor. I grabbed my dressing gown making sure I had the sleeves down and walked out of my bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom. I reached my arm out to turn on the water. I jumped into the stall, the warm water trickling down my spine. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around myself and walked over to the bathroom mirror and just looked into it. Looked at the way I had dark bags under my eyes, looked at the way my freckles weren’t even, looked at the way my eyebrows weren’t perfect arches, looked at the way my brown hair didn’t flow perfectly down my neck. A single tear slipped down my cheek. As I wiped it away I turned and put my dressing gown back over my shoulders and stumbled to my room.

I put on my uniform and grabbed my phone. I had 4 texts from the one number that was as usual on private. I was scared to open it, and was going to just delete them but my curiosity got the better of me again like it did every other time.

‘Skylar, you’re nothing but a mistake, go kill yourself’

‘No one wants you around, not even your parents, you are completely worthless’

‘You shouldn’t take anything as a complement Skylar; no one would say anything nice about you’

‘I hope you rot in hell, you don’t deserve happiness. You are nothing but a plague Skylar, a disgusting plague that everyone wants to disappear.”

And the thing is, I still didn’t delete them, I keep them to remind me of what I am. I am nothing, everyone has told me that and it doesn’t matter what people say anymore, I know when they’re lying and these aren’t lies. Why should they be punished for telling the truth? Didn’t your parents ever teach you that you shouldn’t lie? I know I was, therefore I don’t lie. I tell myself the truth and this is the truth. I am worthless, and no one wants me around. I am a hell bound mistake and the world would be a brighter and happier place if I disappeared. No one would miss me, no one would care. If anything I would be doing everyone a favour by granting them the gift of never having to see my ugly face.  

It’s always fun walking into a set of golden schoolyard gates. The outside of the school portrays a place of education where there is no such thing as bullying, a place where it doesn’t exist.  Noosa District State High School. Lush green grass, palm trees, school walls covered in colour and staff members smiling their maliciously evil grins that invites you and your children into this ‘school’. Yes, everything looks alright from the outside but once you step through those golden gates it’s like a wave of energy levels running around like a headless chicken on steroids.

No one knows what they’re doing, or what they want. They take each day as it comes not knowing what or who is around the next bend, and personally for me it’s never good. So once again like I do every single day I walk through those golden gates, and as I do so the outside world full of colour fades to a grey. This place is what created this mistake.

I walked along the concrete path, eyes fixed on the ground and my arms crossed. I started heading towards the library just like I did every other morning. I walked into the library to Mrs Quarrel smiling brightly up at me. She was a short old lady. She had short curly brown hair and a smile that could blind a room. Her emerald green blouse matched her flats and bought out the colour of her brown eyes. I greeted her as I did every other morning and walked over the book shelves to continue reading a book series I was deeply interested in. I sat on the ground with my back leaning up against the cream coloured wall, opened it and started reading, leaving the world of reality behind and entering the made up world that consisted of pixies and insects. That took up the majority of the morning until the bell rang. I made my way towards the form room. Mrs Hunter was waiting there at the door like she always did, always punctual. If she told you to be at a specific place at a specific time you’d want to be there or all hell would break lose.