lovefool | eren x levi

ten years.

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kuchel ackerman was sicker than she'd ever let on. she was sicker than she ever could understand.

marie smith, who had once only had physical custody of levi ackerman, was granted legal custody of him on kuchel ackerman's deathbed. levi ackerman was officially her child.

kuchel had died with giddy movement. twitched for a few moments then suddenly got still. died with her eyes open, her mouth agape. she died as if shocked of what was to come.

marie had watched her die. she laid forget-me-not petals around her body and lit her favorite candles. she sat by her side and blessed her soul with every moment that passed by, with every choked breath kuchel took.

and when levi showed up at the door, waving goodbye to eren and thanking carla for the ride, he did not expect that he would walk in his mom's house—which he visited every day after school since she had fallen sick—to see his guardian sobbing over the body of his mother.

months of optimism and disbelief that this day would occur streamed out of him like a waterfall, horror and utter blankness replacing that space.

it was a fairly calm day. levi wished that it wasn't.

earthquakes reigned overhead, tearing his mental house and everything near to shreds. the ground shook with such intensity that he lost his balance.

he was falling from the sky, the wind rippling at his clothes. he was going to puke. he was going to die.

his stomach groaned and cried, wailing louder than levi wanted to. his heart had escaped from its place in his stomach and climbed its way up to his throat, jumping out of his mouth. his heart was falling. he was going to die.

the force of water that hit his back stung him like falling on hard cement, and he plunged downward. air bubbles from his mouth floated out of him like fairies. he was drowning. he was going to die.

it was a fairly calm day. levi assured himself that it wasn't.

levi slumped down unto the floor, hysterical sobs filling the room. silent recollections of his mother's laugh, his mother's smile, his mother's teachings... they hit him like bullets. like dodgeballs that never failed to miss.

when levi recognized that he would never notice those things again, he floated back out of reality.

he was living on earth with no form of life. floating in a solar system without stars. there was nothing except the nonexistence of the human world welcoming him.

he did not bring himself to stare into his mother's eyes as marie had done. he stayed at the doorway, weeping, not saying a word to marie.

levi fell asleep shortly after.

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levi hated funerals.

when his distant cousin passed away, he went to one with his mother. and he absolutely hated it.

he hated how the stench of dead skin cells went unnoticed around the entire room. he hated how the exterior of the building was always a plain beige, how there was nothing noticeably special about the program at all except for the body in the middle of the room.

he hated how the very people who refused to help kuchel with her financial situation, the greedy rich ones who loved to sit on their high thrones and insult their peers, felt the need to sob their voices down the drain at a funeral.