lovefool | eren x levi

sixteen years.

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eren was no longer perfect.

he was never perfect, though levi had blatantly refused to accept that. 

but now, he sat in the auditorium with an indescribable expression, blankly staring at armin's smiling face on the posters, and the large picture of armin, mikasa, eren, levi, and farlan standing together in the middle-school playground broadcasted on the large projector.

mikasa was escorted out of the room five minutes after the program began. the first few moments that she walked in, and saw the face that would no longer be next to her, she broke down.

mr. bailey hadn't known armin. 

he only knew his 'close friend,' eren jaeger, who led their school to victories every year he had attended. and in all honestly, levi knew that eren jaeger was the only reason he had even felt moved to have the ceremony.

at least one kid every year killed themselves due to the sheer stress this school has brought them. levi didn't know their names. nobody knew their names. levi knew that mikasa knew this too.

so she screamed. she screamed louder then the principal could ever speak with that expensive microphone of his. and all attention had diverted from him to her, as she ran down the aisle to the stage, her fists raised and her tears flying behind her.

security ran after her, but they were delayed due to the spell of shock they had all been under. she sped up the steps and knocked the principal square in the nose.

gasps filled the echoing room. security yelled and restrained her, but she kicked, yelling "fuck you!" as they dragged her back.

eren just stared. he did not say one word, nor show any sign of disappointment or pride on his face. he followed mikasa with his eyes until she was successfully pulled out of the room.

levi would've too, if he had the raw emotion boiling and baking inside of him to do it. but, as eren had done, he realized that he could do nothing but watch.

a large crater had formed inside of him, eating away until there was nothing left of him. when the principal spoke those generic words that levi had already heard more than enough times to have memorized it, he felt nothing but television static.

sometimes, he felt like he was not levi ackerman. like he was an anonymous onlooker to levi ackerman, flipping the pages of levi ackerman's story. he didn't feel as if he was able to tell levi ackerman's emotion, because it wasn't his to portray. so, alternatively, levi ackerman felt nothing.

hange, erwin, farlan, and isabel had all tried to comfort levi during the memorial for him. as all of armin's teachers got up and spoke about him, while everyone else knew that those teachers had never paid attention to armin. he was another student of the hundreds they taught. this was, like all of the other speeches, practiced.

yet, when eren got up for his part about armin—whilst also speaking for mikasa—it was nothing but silence. television static.

and when he spoke, there was eery tranquility about his sound that displayed his struggling rage better than any other.

"if you have cried for armin arlert, i despise you. i despise you greatly, and i will despise you forever. do not cry for armin arlert."

eren was not perfect. he was far from it. in fact, he had not looked more human in that one moment.

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eren quit the track team days after the ceremony.

their coach, ms. hathaway, was more than concerned about it. she had even suggested referring him to his counselor.

"eren, what's going on?" she said in a stern voice.

"i want to quit."

"why so sudden? we have a meet coming up, you were good on the field, i don't understand–"

"i never knew that it was your place to understand my intentions, coach hath."

she sighed, and went inside to dial his parents.

he sat in the waiting chair, his hands playing with the bronze key.

his parents arrived momentarily, though grisha was a bit later than carla.

"please tell me i didn't hear right on the phone, eren," grisha said, hastily sitting down beside eren in the blue chair, his eyes never moving off of eren. "quitting? why? you have full-ride scholarships waiting for you!"

"you're truly our star player," coach hathaway added.

"i do not want to run anymore."

"can't this wait until after the meet? this is such bad timing!"

"i am not running for this school ever again," eren said, expression void of any answers.

"if he wants to stop, let him, grisha. your high school days are over. stop trying to force your son to be just like you were," carla said, looking down at grisha.

"it's not about forcing him to be me, it's about his scholarships! do you know how many opportunities he is giving up?"

"it's his life," carla deadpanned. "he's sixteen, grisha. pretty damn capable to make his own decisions. his boyfriend..." she trailed off, remembering that eren was still right there.

"in any case, i refuse to run another day here," eren said, glaring at grisha.

"well, so be it," grisha said with a heavy sigh. "you're off the team. say goodbye to all the great colleges that were looking forward to your arrival."

"thank you."

eren walked out of the office, not sparing a glance back at his parents.

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levi had not been able to talk to eren. there were no quick 'hellos!' as they passed each other in the hall as they once been. in fact, he had not been able to catch eren since the ceremony, though the teachers always told levi that eren had been there that day.

but, in actuality, it seemed like nobody was able to talk to eren.

mikasa had been expelled for 'assaulting' the principal, and annie, ymir, and historia were the only ones who had been allowed to see her at her home.

jean had practically taken eren's position on the popularity temple, as the star player of the track team with the loud table.

eren had lost his humanity. to everyone, he was no longer alive, and more so a concept than anything.

and levi loved eren. he had loved eren more than he loved himself, almost as much as he loved his mother. but he knew that eren would no longer be human.

but still, levi's love for eren did not waver.

guess he was truly a lovefool, huh?