The Secret Memory

Seven

It took another moment before Merlin was fully conscious and stood up slowly. He couldn't read the emotion on Arthur's face: a calm fury or disappointment. His eyes fell on Arthur's hand, the fact that he didn't put his sword away. 'I had to,' Merlin said, almost a whisper.

Arthur looked away and gave a subtle shake of the head. 'But not when I wanted you to.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'You did nothing when I stepped into the trap.'

'It happened too quickly. And you were...right there.'

'Yes, but what if that was a real trap? And not one with a blunt knife?'

Merlin's eyes narrowed. 'A "real" trap?'

Arthur finally sheathed the sword.

'Wait, you set that trap?'

'To see if I was right,' Arthur answered quietly. 'About you having magic.'

'You...knew?'

'I saw you trying to use magic in the archive room. The day when you said you left something there.'

The day Merlin tried to set fire to the evidence they gathered. 'Why?'

'It made no sense! You went there empty-handed; what could you have left behind? It was obvious you were making up an excuse to go back there. And...you seemed upset.'

It was true. But Merlin never realised Arthur noticed.

The prince pierced him with a hard look. 'I didn't understand why bringing magical people forward would cause you distress. Then it started making sense, and I followed you. I saw you holding out your arm at the papers we gathered. Like you would cast some spell over them.'

'You're right. I wanted to destroy them.'

'You didn't want someone of your kind to be punished.'

Merlin remained silent. For the first time in their exchange, a shade of rage ignited his eyes. How could Arthur possibly understand what he was feeling that afternoon?

Arthur took a step closer. 'Did you really think you could hide your secret from me?'

Merlin gave a cold smile. 'I hid it all this time, didn't I?'

The look of disappointment returned in Arthur's eyes. 'You never trusted me.' This time he gave in to a bitter smile. 'Not after I trusted you with my own treasonous thoughts on magic, when we went to see that sorceress.'

Merlin swallowed and flicked his eyes away to look at the floor. 'Then you took them back.'

Arthur exhaled loudly. 'Why didn't you tell me, Merlin? Oh right, you had a plan going –keep the numbskull in the dark -he'll take anything unusual as a coincidence. His simple mind won't stop to think it's all connected and has something to do with his prattling manservant!'

'How could I tell you?' Merlin's voice rose to match Arthur's. It managed to silence the prince. 'Arthur, I watched a man getting executed for being like me the moment I stepped into Camelot. On my first day, the king's hate for magic was burned in my mind –how he wanted anyone like me to be dead. How the hell do you expect me to trust the son of the same man?'

Arthur held his stare for a long moment. 'Then why save my life?'

Instantly, the dragon's words came into Merlin's tongue. It was his destiny. Yes, that was how it started. Then he told Arthur why he did it now. 'Because I don't think you're like your father.'

There was no reply from Arthur except a sniff like he was mocking something. He stepped around Merlin and bent down to Ulrich's body, back to the job at hand. As if his entire conversation with Merlin never happened.