Loving Ash [a.i.] {Original Version}

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Heartbroken and in love

Song: I Don't Know If I Should Stay by Alexz Johnson

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Heartbroken and in love

***

[Ashley]

"He's a dick, Ashley," Louis said, pulling things out of my suitcase as I put them in. He was sat on the foot of my bed, his legs crossed under him as he slowly unpacked my things.

"Most definitely," Calum agreed from his spot against the dresser. He was watching me pack with a sour look on his face, but he didn't move to stop me. "Did he even let you explain?"

"I don't even remember what happened last night," I replied with a clenched jaw. I tried to stay focused on my clothes, but I was having trouble. Why couldn't they just leave it alone? "I just remember getting to the club and drinking with the girls."

"Harry says you came up to him mumbling something before smashing your lips to his," Lou informed me, his fingers snatching up a pretty pink top. I glared at him, yanking the blouse out of his grip and shoving it back into my bag.

"I would never kiss Harry," I said softly, pushing my hair back. After sobbing my eyes out for a few hours, I finally calmed down enough to start packing. I had pulled my unruly curls out of my face and thrown on an old Cobain t-shirt that I soon realized was Ashton's. I ignored that, and started packing my things. That was when Calum had rushed out of the room, returning moments later with Louis. "Not that he's not attractive, he's just..."

"Not Ashton," Lou nodded in understanding. I tilted my head, eying him. Out of all the boys, he probably did understand the most.

"You shouldn't leave, Ash," Calum protested, shoving himself away from the wall and walking to my side.

"Stop trying to change my mind," I sighed in exasperation. I was going home and that was that. "I-I can't stay anymore, guys. I-it's just too hard."

I sat down on the end of the bed, my shoulder bumping with Louis'. He wrapped his arm around me.

"You don't get it," I said, closing my eyes as the tears built up again. "Seeing him everyday, every minute. It would be complete torture. I mean, what if he decides to date someone else? I-I love him, okay? Living in the same bus as him, knowing he hates me? How could I live that way?"

"Ashley," a voice sighed from the doorway. For a second I thought it was Ashton, but when I lifted my head I realized it wasn't. Even through my tears I recognized my twin. "We don't want you to leave, but if you need to...then I'll buy you the ticket home myself."

***

This was it. I was going home. Staring out the window of the plane, I let the tears slip down my cheeks.

He didn't even say goodbye.

I could feel my heart breaking into a million pieces as the plane took off. My stomach dropped and I closed my eyes. The tears fell silently, only soft sniffles coming from me. I tried to focus on seeing mum and my friends again, but my mind kept flashing back to Ashton's face.

I sighed, stuffing my headphones into my ears and pressing play on a new playlist. It was something Ashton put together for me. It was labeled 'Ash's Mix'. Oh how I hated sharing my name with him. It reminded me of everything we did together. I closed my eyes, letting the music and lyrics surround me.

As the first song started, more tears slipped down my cheeks as I remembered Ashton singing it to me.

**Flashback**

"Sing to me, Ash," I smiled up at him from my spot on the bed. He rolled his eyes, flopping down on the bed next to me. His arm snaked around my waist, and he buried his face in my shoulder.

"Who says I sing?" He asked, his lips moving against my skin. My eyes fell closed at the feel of his lips against my sensitive skin. What was this boy doing to me?

"I've heard you sing, love," I responded, running my fingers through his curls. His chuckle was breathy against my neck. "Please?"

"Only for you," he mumbled. I grinned as he rolled over, pulling me with him so I was lying on top of him. "What do you want me to sing?"

"Something that makes you think of something you love," I answered, snuggling into his side. He pulled my closer as he thought. Pretty soon he cleared his throat and began singing softly.

I've been looking under rocks and breaking locks, just trying to find you. I've been like a maniac, insomniac, 5 steps behind you.

A smile pulled at my lips when I recognized the song. Ashton's voice wasn't the best, but it was better than okay. His chest vibrated as he sang, his voice soothing me into a trance. I loved his voice.

Tell them other girls, they can hit the exit - check please! - cause I finally found the girl of my dreams.

His eyes were trained on my face, and I could feel the flush creeping up my neck.

Much more than the Grammy awards, that's how much you mean to me.

He didn't get to finish, because I had pressed my lips to his in a soft kiss.

**End Flashback**

My heart ached, but there was no turning back now. My plane was already flying over the ocean and the boys would already be on their way to America.

I was heartbroken and in love - and it sucked.

________
Song Ashton sings: It Girl by Jason Derulo

The End.

Layna xo

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Jk. There's still a few more chapters left. But this book is coming to a close.

Make sure to vote and leave a comment. I think the next chapter will be in Ashton's POV if I get enough votes....!