a gay as hell total drama groupchat fic 😌

cody fuckin dies

A/N: unfortunately, cody doesn't actually die in this chapter :(

oh also just a heads up, covid-19,,,,isn't a thing in this story. it interferes with plot stuff and i don't wanna think about the pandemic more than i have to

TOTAL DRAMA BROS

Gwen: CODY U MOTHERFUCKER

Cody: um

Cody: what did i do?

Heather: fight fight fight!!

Duncan: this'll be entertaining

Sierra: DON'T HURT MY CODYKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen: SO I WATCH TOTAL DRAMA WORLD TOUR FOR THE FIRST TIME

Gwen: AND I FOUND OUT THAT CODY WAS THE ONE WHO CAUSED MY HAND TO BURN

Gwen: BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GET A CREEPY PHOTO OF ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING

Courtney: oh my god

Courtney: Cody the fuck?

Cody: oh,,,,,,that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Cody: not my best moment

Sierra: CODY!?!??!?!?!? YOU COULD'VE ASKED FOR A PHOTO WITH ME!!!!!! 

Cody: how about we just forget it happened?

Gwen: I HAD TO HAVE MY HAND IN BIRD POOP BECAUSE OF YOU

Cody: it was years ago!!!

Gwen: WHEN WE GO TO GEOFF'S PARTY YOU'RE DEAD

Cody: GWEN PLEASE NO

Cody: GWEN I'M SORRYYYYYYY

Sierra: DON'T LAY A FINGER ON MY CODY-WODY

Heather: god this is so funny

Heather: Cody you're such a fucking creep lmao

Cody: I'VE CHANGED I SWEAR 

Cody: PLEASE FORGIVE ME GWEN

Duncan: rip Cody

Geoff: dudes

Geoff: no murder at the party brah

Gwen: dammit

Cody: oh thank goodness

Heather: damn it

Sierra: psshhh Cody could TOTALLY beat you in a fight Gwen, he's like soooo strong and stuff

Sierra: he punched Duncan remember???

Courtney: rightfully so

Duncan: that fuckin hurt

Cody: yea... that was more adrenaline than my actual strength

Cody: i'm kind of a skinny geek?

Noah: (twink)

Cody: FUCK OFF NOAH

Noah: that hurt my feelings, you should apologize

Cody: i'm good :)

Noah: when did Cody grow balls?

Gwen: don't worry i'm gonna rip them straight off at Geoff's party

Cody: GEOFF????

Geoff: it's not murder brah, it's fair game

Cody: but

Duncan: but nothing, say goodbye to your balls