Clarity || z.m

Transition

*Important Authors Note at the end*

•P.s: This chapter is kind of long•

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My eyes fluttered open at the sound of a heart monitor echoing through my ears. A bright white light casted itself over my face practically blinding me as this pounding headache only felt to be getting worse and worse.

Then it all came flooding back in tiny bits and fragments.

His blood. The pills.

I am in transition.

My eyes slowly focused on the bland white ceiling; a burning sensation creeping its way up my pupils and then spreading throughout my whole head.

Slowly but achingly, I plopped myself in a sitting position while crossing my legs in the process. A series of harsh hushed whispers coming from the far right corner of the room; I turned my head only to find what looked like Zayn and Henley having a very heated argument.

They stopped abruptly and snapped their heads in my direction. Henley gave me a small reassuring smile before walking out of the room leaving just Zayn.

He was at my side in a second, a sorrowful expression taking over his eyes which were red, as if he had been crying. But behind that sorrow was an emotion I knew all too well. Anger.

"Nani do you realize what you've done?" He said eerily calm, as if trying to control his temper.

I bowed my head down and started fidgeting with my fingers and picking at my nails, trying to ease the anxiety building at the pit of my stomach. But no matter what the damage is done and it is what it is. In the end I wanted this. This was my choice, for my happiness. And I don't regret it at all. Though the hurt I'm causing to the one person I've ever loved? That's regretful.

"This isn't a fucking game Nani! Do you realize that you can't take this back? Or the choice that you have to make? Did I not make it clear to you that being what I am- what we are isn't a fucking fairytale?!"

"I wouldn't have done what I did without knowing the consequences of it Zayn." I said, my voice a mere whisper, but I know he heard me.

I finally grabbed the courage to look at him in the eyes. Fresh tears brimming his eyelids.

"I thought you were dead Nani.." He whispered. "You weren't answering my calls or my texts so I went back to check up on you and when I found you, you were lying on your bed so peacefully but without a heartbeat... I thought I'd lost you. I thought I was never going to see you again."

I remained silent, never breaking eye contact.

"I saw the the empty pill bottle lying on the floor. Then I remembered that you had my blood in your system but I had to be sure so I brought you here."

"What I did," I said as I grabbed his face in my hands, "I did because for once in my life I wanted reassurance that I have a way of being infinitely happy and not having to worry about loosing another person that I love. I want to be able to love you and not worry about something as simple as time finding its way to separate us. You are my happiness Zayn, and if I have to sacrifice my humanity to keep my happiness forever then I'll do what it takes to not let it go."

"You're so selfless Nani. We could've stayed happy, we could've-"

"No Zayn, we may have stayed happy but we both know what would have happened eventually. I've been selfless my whole life. I did this because for once I wanted to do something for me. For MY happiness."