Kian Is Mine (an o2l fanfic)

Chapter 19: Mourning

I laughed "Yeah. I remember that. I had the BIGGEST crush on you back then. Still do."

He laughed "I hope so."

When we arrived at my door, we kissed goodbye, but he stopped me from going in my house "Sydney, wait."

I stood in front of him "Yeah."

He smiled "I love you."

Did Kian just tell me he loved me? Months ago, it wouldn't have really meant anything, but we were serious now

I didn't know what to say. The worst thing slipped out "Aww. Thanks."

I then ran in my house and locked myself in my room and cried for the rest of the night

I had some pretty weird dreams. I had a dream Kian and I were getting married and at our wedding, he chickened out on the "I do." I had a dream Ryan Lawley came back to life. I had another dream Katie and Dylan got back together (Forget to mention, they only dated for 4 and a half months)

For some reason, I've been thinking about Ryan Lawley a lot lately. I don't know why. He's been on my mind a lot. I wanted to go to his grave with someone I could trust. I couldn't face Kian. I chose someone I trusted more than anyone else in the world. My little brother Nick

Nick never met Ryan, but Nick was very passionate about his death when he found out. He was very mature. I was so glad I had Nick. He looked nothing like me and nobody could ever guess we were siblings! But I can understand that. He's my half brother. He has a mushroom brown haircut and brown big eyes. He sometimes wears glasses. He was so cute. He looks a lot like Katie. Katie has brown orangey long soft straight hair. She has brown eyes, just like Nick's, but her eyes are a lot bigger. I started to believe I stopped loving Katie. That wasn't normal. I could just care less about her and did absolutely nothing with her. I would take a bullet for Nick any day though

Nick and I went to the grave and Nick dropped the flowers off. A car drove up. Guess who was in it?

The Lawley family

"Fuck." I said

Nick looked at me and said "Sydney, that's not very nice."

He was so cute

I smiled at him "Sorry, Nicky."

He went from serious to super enthusiastic "That's okay!"

Kian came out the car. He ran to me and said "What are you doing here?"

I crossed my arms "I've just been thinking about your brother a lot."

He smiled "Aw, that's so sweet of you." He noticed Nick "Hi Nick."

Nick smiled at him "Hi Kian!"

"He's so cute." Nick said

I nodded

I loved Kian but I didn't know how to tell him. I was way more in love with him than he was with me. I knew what falling in love felt like. Every time I thought about him, I would get butterflies and get so excited. He made me so happy and I would do ANYTHING for him

Kian's little sister came out of the car crying

I looked at Kian "Is she okay?"

Kian shook his head "No, not really. We don't really visit here often. Once a week. We're only here because it's her 14th birthday and Ryan helps her blow out her candles every year and all she wants is to "see" him today."

"That's so sad." I said

He nodded "Yeah, it sucks."

"Tell her happy birthday for me." I told him

He nodded "Okay."

His phone buzzed. He answered it "Hello? Hey Sam. Yeah, it's Kian. Well, what do you mean? I-I don't know. But if you want, you can--. I can't. I'm at Ryan's grave. Uh-sure. I guess. Well. Bye." He hung up the phone

"What did he need?" I asked Kian

"Well, he kind of left something at my house." Kian said reluctantly

"What did he leave?" I asked curiously

"Well..." He said, sounding like he didn't want to tell me

I rolled my eyes "Just spill it."

He sighed "An extra condom."

"So?" I asked

His eyes widened "Wait, you're not like--."

I shook my head "No. Of course not. Who cares?"

Kian smiled in relief "That's great. He just said he needed to go get it from my room--."

"Why your room?" I asked him reluctantly

Kian sighed "It was a crazy night. He was over at my house and went with some girl named Nikki and it was in my room. Pretty nasty."

That was disgusting. Now I never wanted to sit on his bed again. No matter how clean it was, it would always gross me out. The thought of Sam and some random girl doing it on Kian's bed is just...ugh! Don't wanna think about that!

"Whose Nikki?" I asked

Kian shrugged "I don't know. He knew her somehow and brought her to the party. Apparently Connor knows her too."

"That's weird." I said

"Yeah." He said

"But who is this Nikki girl? Because that's so inappropriate." I asked, sounding a bit overprotective

He shrugged "Honestly, I don't know. All I know is her and Sam have something going on. And her last name is Pomeranian." Kian told me

I chuckled "Ha! That's such a cute last name!"

We both laughed together.

He pulled me aside and said "We need to talk about something."

"Yes?" I asked him nervously

He exhaled "Sydney...do you not love me?"

I sighed "Look, Kian, you're my first love and I think I am. But I don't know how to say I love you to someone. I can only say it to my little brother."

He seemed to be getting angry "Excuses like that don't work."

"What? No, Kian, it's not an excuse. I really don't know how to say "I love you." I told him

He chuckled "You just did."

I didn't know what to say "Huh?"

He chuckled again "You just said "I don't know how to say I LOVE YOU."

I giggled "You're right, I did. But I do love you. It's just not easy for me to say it to someone."

He nodded "Listen, I get it. But for the future, when you get married and all and have kids, you kind of need to know how."

I coughed "Your babies."

He gave me a funny look "Huh?!"

I immediately regretted saying that. What was I thinking? I can't believe he tricked me! Ugh! I was so irritated with him at this point. I got really bitchy that day for some reason

"Can you just go away?! You're so annoying!" I yelled at him

He gasped "Fuck you! Go away from my brothers grave! You're not the one mourning over him!"

"Who are you?! My father?! You dick!" I yelled at him. I couldn't believe what I just said

He ran away to his family

I grabbed his arm "Kian--"

He shoved away and ran away to his family

Now I've messed up