black hole sun

II. You're Never Gonna Fit In Much, Kid.

      Starting a new high school was never the plan, it was a new reality I had to come to terms with. I still haven't gotten over being escorted to the car by a wolf but, maybe that was my logic trying to find a reasonable conclusion. I couldn't help but be astounded by the views of trees even if they came with snow. The snowfall was breathtaking every time I saw it but I could guess that everyone else found it an annoying occurrence from living here so long. My beanie, jacket and gloves made me feel silly as I stood in my sister's backyard in the snowfall. It reminded me of the few snow trips we would take and how I'd always try to play with my older cousins and sister only to be left behind. Bending down to grab a bundle of snow to form what I could off an oddly shaped snowball. Tossing it at a tree that lined the backyard, I couldn't help but laugh at the underwhelming results. 

    I sat on the ground and bunched as much snow as I possibly could to form a small snowman, I underestimated the time it would take before looking for rocks for the face and sticks for the arms. Childish as it felt, I couldn't help but forget and feel a calmness wash over me as I looked around for pieces to my snow person. The chill air causing a numbness to wash over my face as I built the three spheres to put together hoping that it wouldn't come apart as I built it. An ease washed over me as I put the medium sphere a top the biggest and struggled with the smallest sphere meant to be a head which kept falling apart in my gloves. When I finished layering I pushed myself up to search for rocks and sticks.

    Gathering I had felt the same warmth washed over me from the clearing before, causing me to drop my findings. A shiver rand down my spine unsettling me but, managing to calm myself at the same time. "Wolf?" I mumble in a half whisper, half shout as I step further into the tree line, searching for answers. Turning back to see the house, I stop walking. I got lost on a hiking trail and now I don't have a map or compass. I don't have my phone either, not as if it worked in the wooded areas. Facing the forest one more time I contemplated seeking the wolf. What if the wolf decided it was hungry now? As much as I was curious I couldn't help but think of all the negatives. I hesitated before taking a few paces forward and ducking my head past some trees in the middle of nowhere, deciding to remain safe. I sighed walked back into the backyard gathering the findings I made earlier and resorted to finishing the snowman, but the warmth didn't disappear. If anything I could possibly remove my gloves and jacket from the warmth I felt. Feverish. I stood up and stretched hoping that I wasn't sick from sitting out in the cold, hypothermia could be what caused the hallucination of a giant wolf.

    Heading inside to see if there was knitting material or a useless scarf or hat lying around I grabbed a paperboy hat my mom had bought me when I would wear overalls as a fashion statement. Finding knitting supplies I sat on the living room floor creating a purple scarf the quiet almost deafening hearing a ringing in my ears that unsettled me as I turned on the television to rid myself of the silence. A solid 30 minutes passed before I had a scarf for the snowman. I had removed the big jacket and shuffled out in a thick knitted sweater heading outside my eyes went wide to see prints in the snow. "Wolf?" I called once more as loud as I could muster, stepping off the porch I looked past the tree line squinting for something anything to confirm my suspicion. I walked over to my snowman and continued staring into the trees.

"(Y/n)!" Ames called as she closed the front door of the house, causing me to cringe and rush over putting a scarf around the snowman. I shake my head to look up from the prints intermingled with my own footprints and took off the hat placing it on the snowman's head. I didn't hesitate to cover the paw prints made into the snow I gave one last look to the trees before I made my way inside to greet my sister. "Why are you outside weirdo? It's freezing out there. Especially without a sweater.'' She says rubbing her hands together pulling off her sweater to reveal her scrubs before entering the kitchen.