Golden Heart

(16) A nightmare night

Warning: Mature Content for themes around self-harm, violence, strong language, drugs, alcohol and sex is and will be mentioned in the story. 

Golden Heart

The warm water was prickling down her neck and her back, leaving her sighing to herself. The mud was sticking to her skin and she had to rub to actually get it off. The more she rubbed the redder did her skin get but when she finally managed to get it off and wash her skin with the body lotion she felt better than ever. Her head had stopped aching, she had slept for at least two hours and wasn't exhausted anymore. Her throat was dry and every time she swallowed a stinging pain would come from it, she was sure she was going to get sick. 

Miles had felt better after his nap, he had finally slept without having a nightmare for once. But this had only been a nap. There was still a night they had to go through, Alice hoped he would be able to sleep through it without waking up. He needed sleep and she could almost imagine how exhausted he always was because of those damn nightmares. 

She got out of the shower and grabbed a towel. She tightly wrapped it around herself and patted herself dry before using the towel to pat her hair dry. Since they had been here she had always been way too lazy to use the hairdryer under the sink. Somehow she also didn't care how she looked anymore. Miles had never bothered to say anything, maybe he secretly thought she looked ridiculous anyway. But then again why would he think that? 

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and noticed how foggy it was. So she wiped her hand across the mirror and finally saw herself clear, her reflection looking back at her. But what she saw wasn't very delighting. She hadn't really looked at herself for a while, something, she now noticed, she should've definitely done. Her face looked thinner than it normally did, her cheekbones standing out and the edges of her face sharper than usual, as if she hadn't eaten in days. Now that she thought about it her stomach growled and she clutched it with her hands. She really hadn't eaten in a long time and was more than hungry. 

Quickly she put on her clothes - another shirt and her sweatpants which were finally clean again. She was glad to be able to were clothes of her own for once. Then she folded the towel and neatly placed it on the washing machine. She left the room just as quickly as she had entered it, spotting Miles on the sofa. He was staring at the fire in the fireplace, not saying a word and not even turning his head when she entered. The whole drug dealer thing was still in the back of her mind but she didn't dare to ask him about it. 

All she knew was that she was safe here and that even if he was a drug dealer he wasn't going to hurt her. She didn't know much about what exactly he did, it was illegal though.

She slowly walked over to the sofa, he still kept his eyes at the fire. When she reached the sofa and sat down he stopped staring at the fire and leaned back, now looking down at his hands. He was probably still broken, all the memories and the fact he had to bring them back to tell her about it made everything a little harder for him. Ever since they had woken up from their little nap he hadn't said much. They had sat in silence for a long time. Awkward silence, silence that had made Alice uncomfortable. And then she had eventually decided to take shower and give him some alone time. 

"Are you okay?" Alice asked before stoping herself. Of course he wasn't, why was she even asking? She leaned back but made sure she kept her distance, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable by sitting too close. They had basically cuddled together but only to make him stop crying. He had needed it in that moment. Now he probably felt weird thinking about it. Alice herself had to admit that it did feel a little weird to think about right now.

He shook his head, not daring to say a word. He needed time to think, maybe she should leave. But then again maybe he didn't want her to leave. Maybe he needed emotional support, a shoulder to cry on. But then again Miles wasn't the type of person to cry just like that. He hadn't cried like this in a very long time and he usually never cried. Alice always saw the tough and intimidating side of him, the funny and smug side of him. Seeing him so vulnerable was strange, it made her think she didn't know him at all.