Golden Heart

(19) Christmas Eve

Warning: Mature Content for themes around self-harm, violence, strong language, drugs, alcohol and sex with be mentioned in the story. 

Golden Heart

It was Christmas Eve.

Alice had totally forgotten what day it had been. When Miles had looked at his phone this morning and she'd seen the date she had widened her eyes in horror. She had no idea how she could've forgotten this day. Especially because her birthday was just two days after Christmas Eve. Her 18th birthday to exact. The day she had been waiting for for years. And now it was almost there. And strangely, she somehow wasn't as excited as she had expected she'd be. 

As a little kid Alice had always dreamed of the day she'd finally turn 18 and be able to do whatever she pleased. She had imagined a big party, her father had always loved big parties. But she herself had always wished for something small, a family gathering. Though of course not with a family like hers. She had dreamed of celebrating the day with a few friends. Now her best friend, and only friend, wasn't talking to her. She had imagined people singing happy birthday for her, hugging her like they meant it. She hadn't imagined being at a cabin while someone was out there trying to kill her, with a boy that was a drug dealer and even knew how to use a gun. 

But maybe she didn't mind as much as she'd have liked to believe. 

It had begun to snow yesterday and now the ground was covered in a thick blanket of white. Perfect, flawless snow. Very small paw prints were visible on the thick snow blanket. An animal had passed the cabin not too long ago. Alice wondered what animal it could've been as she looked outside, out into the night, the ground lit by the bright full moon high above. She was wrapped into a blanket as a fire crackled in the fireplace. Miles was watching her from the sofa, she was aware of the two dark eyes, staring holes into her back, never leaving her. 

The two last nights Alice had barely slept. Thick, dark rings had come to rest under her eyes, her shoulders were hanging low and she was tired. She had spent the nights awake, sometimes falling asleep for only one or two hours. Her fear of Miles waking up and doing something stupid again was too big. She had slept directly next to him, their shoulders, arms or backs always touching just so she'd know he was there and she could be as close to him as possible. 

He had had a few bad dreams, Alice had always woken him before they were able to get even worse. But she was convinced they were making progress. The nightmares seemed to have gotten better. Whatever it was that was helping Miles become better, Alice was happy he was finally able to sleep more. Though she couldn't say she was happy about her own tiredness. Of course Miles had noticed it but she wouldn't let him stop her from doing it. 

And now here they were, Alice staring out the window and Miles sitting on the sofa watching her. The mood wasn't very Christmas like, they had no decoration or music, no glorious food they could use to prepare a fancy meal. Alice didn't mind, it would just remind her of her home and the way it always looked on Christmas Eve. She had grown to hate it, the Christmas music streaming into the big hall from the living room, the Christmas decoration covering the whole house and the huge Christmas tree in the living room that reached up to the ceiling. Maybe spending Christmas with him was much better than at home, they wouldn't be forced to make a big thing out of it and could just relax a little - something they always planned to do but never quite managed to do. 

Alice turned around and Miles quickly looked away, down at his hands as if he wanted to hide the fact that he had been staring at her. Alice didn't really understand why he'd do so but she didn't question it any further. She kept her mouth shut and walked over to Miles who was dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Alice wondered if maybe he was cold, she was freezing to death after all.