Golden Heart

(23) The way I feel

Warning: Mature Content for themes around self-harm, violence, strong language, drugs, alcohol and sex will be mentioned in the story.

⚠️Mentions of violence, strong language, rape⚠️

Golden Heart

"Miles!"

Alice woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat and tears, her hair sticking to her forehead. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest as she tried to catch her breath, feeling as though two seconds ago someone had been choking her and keeping the air from filling her lungs and had now released her. The cold air that hit her skin felt good on her hot skin but she was still processing what was going on. There was a window in the living room which was boarded up but there were still small spaces free through which the air was able to come inside. She was wrapped in two blankets and Miles' leather jacket was still on her, but not even that could keep her from feeling cold. She was aware of the two people sleeping next to her on the floor and quickly felt bad for them as they were probably very uncomfortable and cold too. 

She looked around her, it was dark. Her eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness, the only light source being the little bit of moonlight that was able to shine inside the house. The fire they had made in the fireplace was out and had been for a long time. Alice suspect Liam or Ella had put it out before going to sleep, Alice had fallen asleep a lot earlier on the sofa when it had still been bright outside. The darkness made the house seem even scarier than before, she hadn't even thought that was possible. 

Now as she looked down at Ella and Liam she could see they were sleeping peacefully, lying right next to each other and wrapped into blankets. Their hands were almost touching, only a few inches away from each other. She wondered if there was anything going on between the two, after all they had spent a lot of time together searching for her and Miles. But the thought was soon replaced by the images of her nightmare, replaying inside her head.

She had dreamed of him. Of Miles, of his desperate screams for help. She knew what was happening to him at this very moment, her dream had been pretty detailed, it had felt as though she really was with him, watching as he was getting tortured but not being able to stop it. The worst part of it all, of the nightmare, of seeing him like that, had been that she couldn't move. She had been standing in a corner, watching as a man tortured him, hearing Miles' screams for help as he called out to her. And the face expression when he saw that she wasn't doing anything was hunting her, keeping her from lying back down and trying to fall back asleep but instead getting up and walking over to the boarded up window with the blankets tightly wrapped around her. 

She was careful not to make any noise as she slowly walked over to it, trying her best not to wake Liam or Ella. Her heart was still beating too fast for her to just calm down and sleep some more but she knew that wasn't the only thing keeping her from falling back asleep. 

She sat down on the old and creaking window seat, hugging her legs and looking outside through the smalls gaps between the boards. She could smell the fresh air, the scent of the forest and of the wet ground. And she could see that it was still snowing outside. After the constant rain she was even happy about some snow. Although she wished she had taken a jacket with her that day when she had snuck out. It would've come in handy now. 

Although she was freezing even more now, her teeth chattering, she made no move to get up and go back to the sofa. Her head hurt, the throbbing getting worse with each minute that past. But she simply didn't seem to care bout that right now. Her eyes were at the white snow outside, glistening in the moonlight, at the dark forest, the darkness swallowing everything that dared to get too close to the it. She silently cursed at herself for leaving her house that night, for sneaking out. This all wouldn't have happened if it weren't for her. Miles would still be safe, he wouldn't have to fear for his life. She'd still be with her shitty parents but at least she'd be safe too. Ella and Liam would've never met but they wouldn't be risking their lives right now. And the whole town wouldn't be going crazy trying to find her.