𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 🤍

• 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗸𝘆 𝗦𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 •

•🌻•

Nikki's POV, March 1986

For the third time this week I woke up at 7:30 to vomit up my guts it wasn't a pretty sight. As I finished bringing up last night's dinner I collapsed against the bathtub breathing heavily, feeling an overwhelming sense of dread as my mind drifts to the few different reasons for my current state.

If I'm honest I think in the back of my mind I know what's wrong but I was in deep deep denial... or at least I was in denial... but at as I sit with my head in my hands and my knees pulled up to my chest the facts are stacking up and as much as I didn't want to admit the situation it was getting harder and harder to deny.

I'm now almost certain that I'm pregnant.

I know, I know how crazy that sounds.. I'm a man, men can't have kids trust me.. yeah, I fucking know.. but it really wasn't crazy for me it was a very real possibility.

I was 13 when I found out I was able to have children, after I woke up one summer morning with a bed covered in blood- I got taken to a doctor and long story short turns out it was a period... yeah, those things women get, I've had one every month since that day until this month that is.

I hadn't told anyone of my condition and that includes my boyfriend and bandmate of 4 and a half years Tommy Lee because it's not something I can just bring up in a casual conversation, is it?

Whenever I had my period I came up with some bullshit excuse to tell Tommy as to why we can't fuck for 4 days... it was difficult but I'd managed it for this long.

I'd never thought I'd need to tell anyone because when I found out about it I still hadn't figured out the fact that I was gay at that point so I just lived with it and forgot about it.

Until I met Tommy, well, no... shall I say until the first time we slept together because my abnormality came flooding back into my head when Tommy was positioned above me, naked, he was just about to enter me when I froze and my breathing picked up pace which he noticed, Tommy instantly asked me what was wrong, I remember giving him a tight lipped smile muttering a quiet "Nothing"

He shrugged about to continue when I panicked and flipped our positions so I was above him, my actions confused the man but he wasn't complaining "Nikki?" He questioned.

"Let me fuck you" was all I said to him.

I fucked him then, and I always have fucked him. Tommy's never fucked me, not properly anyway- he's given me oral and used toys on me but I've never allowed him to properly fuck me- and yes, I'm aware there are condoms but there still a chance they break so I've never risked it.

I've always been so so careful... until one night a few weeks ago... Tommy and I had gone out with Vince and Mick and we'd all got incoherently drunk.

So drunk in fact that when Tommy and I got back home in a heated make out session the thoughts of my condition were nowhere to be found, even when Tommy stripped both of us down to nothing and he prepared to enter me, even when I felt him fill me and thrust in and out of me mercilessly the danger of what I was letting him to me was nowhere in my thoughts, the consequences of Tommy topping me were so far out of my mind as he finished inside me.

It was only the next morning when I woke up severely hungover that I remembered what I let him do, I tried not to panic- I tried, and I succeeded until I realised my period was late, until I began getting all the tell tale sighs of pregnancy.