𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 🤍

• 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗧𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 •

•🌻•

Nikki's POV

2 weeks had now passed and there had been a slight advancement- and that's not a good thing. Last week we had to do an interview for MTV we were only told about it 3 days before it was scheduled to happen it was all last minute.

When Doug told us about it I almost had a meltdown, it was gonna be the first time in months that I had been seen on TV, the last time was only maybe a couple of months into the pregnancy and now I was just a few days from being 5 months into it and hiding the fact was becoming a fucking chore.

When we did the interview I stayed quiet and let Tommy and Vince most of the talking not wanting to draw too much attention to myself. It was strange for me to be so quiet because I usually took most of the questions in interviews but if it meant stopping everyone finding out out my pregnancy it was worth it- even if it was just a couple of weeks.

The interview aired and questions quickly arose to why I wasn't talking, and to my slight change in appearance. The baggy clothes were really beginning to get people speculating and the fact that I had obviously gained some weight didn't help.

Whenever I went out anywhere now people were looking at me strangely and were not so subtly checking out my lower torso, Tommy's overprotective streak kicked in then he snapped or glared at anyone who looked at me in a certain way.

Out of all of the places rumours were spilling from magazines were the worst- I've heard and seen a few comments which were, shall we say... a little too close to the truth, no scratch that I'd seen in one magazine a few day's ago a story which was practically exactly the truth the only difference is they said that I must be a woman pretending to be a man which made me slightly amused but not enough for me to show it.

All of this really isn't benefiting my already high anxiety about having the baby though I haven't had a panic attack since that night I told Tom but I knew once my condition was out a panic attack was inevitable for me. I wouldn't be freaking out so much if this was normal, really I wouldn't.

Also, the last month or so I may not have been sharing as much about my feelings with Tommy as I should be, this is for no other reason than I think that he's probably fed up of me constantly whining about the same shit day in day out.

I knew deep down he wasn't but my heads a fucked up place.

When I woke up this morning I didn't want to get up so... I didn't, I've told Tommy my backs killing me which wasn't entirely a lie because it was, but not bad enough to the point where I couldn't walk.

Tommy knows me too well and knows that I'm not being entirely honest but he won't question me on it knowing I'll deal with it in my own way or tell him later on. I might have to tell him because it was getting too much for me again.

It may surprise you, but I'm not particularly one for panic attacks or anxiety but judging by the amount of both I've had over the last few months you'd think it had been a life long problem, I felt kinda pathetic because I'm Nikki Sixx I shouldn't be struggling like this but here I was laying in bed with my legs pulled up to my chest and my arms wrapped around myself crying like a bitch.

Just fuck all of this. This fucking baby is causing me so many issues and I'm just about done with feeling so fucking shit.