Him~ Mattia Polibio

Day 47

Thursday

I was crawled up in a ball, staring into my closet. Looking at the weed inside my volleyball hood. Right besides it the frame of the all the pics of us for my birthday.

I don't hate him but I hate myself for not making him happy. I took my jewelry off from the night before and got into the shower trying to wake up. Maybe this is all a dream. I washed my face but there I was still there standing in the shower, alone.

(Why I'm making this so dramatic💀💀)

I got out the shower putting on sweats and a tank top. I brushed through my hair and tied it up into a high ponytail. And putting on my necklace and bracelet back on.

Mattia (my Italian kid)

How did you sleep?

Eh it could be better
You?

It will get better don't worry
Same, I slept pretty shit to be honest
I just kept on thinking about us

Ugh now I'm crying again

Don't cry dumb ass
Ok I can't say that, cause I'm also crying
Anyways
We can go live after class and explain to everyone

Oh I thought we were just gonna post

I feel like it's better if we talk and stuff

Ok yea
I have classes till 2

Ok I'll meet you in my room

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Yay my favorite things social media and mattias fan base. The amount of hate I get on both platforms is just wow. I walked out the door seeing Mattia Infront of me he didn't see me he was way ahead, he was walking to class with Alejandro.

I put on my hood trying to hide myself I didn't want them to see me at all.

I put my head down and started to walk to class.

Alejandro: hey Elle can we pass
Elle: errrrr
I look up confused, then seeing Alejandro and Mattia with their hands in their hoodie pockets. How the fuck did they walk ahead of them
Alejandro: what the fuck happened to you Alejandro said while laughing
Mattia hit ales elbow harshly
Mattia: shut up bruh
They walked off Infront of me again, I could faintly hear their conversation and ale being curious of why my eyes were puffy and red.

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I flopped on the seat barely wanting to be here. Fuck it's health sciences, with mattia.

Mattia: hey mattia said with a soft smile
His eyes were just as red and puffy but probably better than mine. I closed my eyes trying to hold back the tears. I gave a small smile.
Mattia tapped my shoulder gently, my heart dropped just the smallest actions made me emotional.
Mattia: ps
Elle: Yea I said looking back at him
Mattia: we still on right
Elle: Yea I'll see you after 2
Mattia: my room
Elle: well that's what we agreed on ,so yea
Mattia: okay

Everything with mattia just became awkward. Walking to the dorms, class time, group chats even just talking. There was never anything like that before. We used to tell eachother most of what happened, if we were ever both silent it wasn't even awkward just comfortable.