Tied Down.

Turning point

In my dreams it wouldn't take a genius to know that I was having a nice one, since knowing me I was probably smiling.

I dreamt about the first time I skyped with Phil.

That's what it felt like at the time; a dream.
It didn't feel real the fact that I was talking to him and seeing him after months of speaking via texts, I think both of us had to adjust.

At first we couldn't get it to work properly but then when we did we just smiled and giggled at each other, not knowing what to say.

'Should I speak first or him?'

We were both asking ourselves that question in our heads.
Oh but when we started speaking there was no stopping us. We spoke for hours apon hours, mostly talking about relatable interests and other mindless crap.
I had to keep it a little secret though, my parents would consider it crazy for me to be talking to someone who, for all they knew, could be a crazed phyco path.

Ha, yeah cause I could totally see phil being a phyco path.
Would that be hot?

Shut up Dan.

It's not unusual for me to dream about all the things Phil and I have done together.
Presenting the Brits, having our own radio show ect.
It's just nice to reflect on the past, the good things, the things you can smile about and tell others.

I open my eyes and just as I thought, I'm smiling.
My head is still resting on Phil's chest, both our bodies pretty much in the exact same position. I snuggle more into him and fiddle with his fingers.

They're cold though. It's not cold in here, in fact it's quite the opposite.

Well he always has to be a difficult one.

But it's then, as I'm smiling and fiddling with his hand, that whilst my ear is pressed to his chest, there's something missing.
Where's the steady sound of his heart beat?

My smile falls as does his hand from mine as I concentrate on listening out for his heart beat.
There nothing.

Immediately I sit up and start to shake him.
"Phil?" I ask, pushing his hair back and slapping his cheeks to make him wake up.
"Phil?!"

My eyes shoot to the heart monitor and it's turned off. I furrow my eyes brows and then see what happened, I got tangled in the wire and accidentally pulled it out, which stopped it from informing anyone of his heart beat stopping.

"Shit, Phil, wake up please!" I start shouting, shaking his body and crying my eyes out. "Phil!"

The door opens and a doctor runs in, I turn to him and widen my eyes. "He stopped breathing!" I exclaim. He runs over to a button and presses it before going over to Phil and checking his pulse, once he finds that there isn't one he starts CPR.

I run my hands through my hair, pulling at it as I watch everything happen again. I'm reliving what happened in that room that we stayed in whilst kidnapped.

More doctors rush in and I start being pulled away from Phil.
But this time I don't struggle, I let them take me.

"Phil no!" I hear the muffled cries of his mother.
I glance up through my own tears and see three nurses blocking her from going in.

My brain is buzzing and my mind is cloudy with everything that's happening.
"Phil, please no, he's my son!"

This is all my fault.

Doctors try to talk to me but I just stare with a blank expression, eyes lost and my face concealed with hurt and heart break.
My mum then also tries talking and getting sense out of me. I can't hear her.

All I can here is Phil's mums cries and watch as she sinks to the floor.

We were so good. It was all fine.
Why does this always have to happen when we're happy?

A doctor then comes out the room and bends down to Phil's mum, as he speaks she listens and nods.
She hides her face in her hands and I know that it must be bad news.

Please don't do this, don't do this again.

As the doctor approaches me everything turns dark and a sharp pain travels through my head before I blank out, tears still drifting down my puffy eyes.

I only have a wish and I just hope that I don't wake up so that I have to go through all that pain.
All those broken faces. Phil's poor mother, his family.
Friends would be devistated.

And they would all hate me because it's my fault.
I know my first wish was for Phil to survive but right now, this time; my wish is for me to never wake up.

A/N:

*hides from swarming mobs waving pitchforks*

Um, sorry...