touch

heartbreak

armins pov: my heart shattered, and my world came crashing down. "w-what..?" i ask with a cracking voice. "yeah, don't get any ideas. i was just horny and desperate" eren says with practically no emotion. "but e-eren! i thought t-that this m-meant something t-to you! it was my first time and i-it meant nothing?!" i yell at eren with a lot of pain in my voice, and i know he can tell. "i'm sorry armin. you should go home" he handed me my clothes, and stood up and started walking to the bathroom. i cant do anything? i cant move, speak, or even breathe it feels like. i feel like my whole body is broken, everything aches. as i'm sitting in silence i hear the door open. "get out of my house armin." eren says with a lot of anger in his voice. that frightens me, as i flinch a little. it sounded more like a last warning than anything, i wasn't sure what would happen if i didn't leave, so i dressed myself and walked out the door. i somehow managed to make it to my car after what felt like an eternity of walking. all i can think is why? why does it hurt this much? why me? why everything?! i scream in rage as i look at myself in the rear view mirror, many tears have fallen down my cheeks, and it's not going to stop anytime soon. i slap myself in the face several times desperate to feel anything other than what i am now, but after my attempts fail, i look around for something sharp. of course with my luck the only thing i could find were my keys. "i-itll have t-to do" i say to myself as my voice cracks. right as i touch my skin, i think of eren. i promised him i wouldn't do this again...what? he's the one that put me in this situation, it's his fault. my heart is pounding in my chest, and my breath is shaking. "shit" i say with a frown, as more tears fall. i...i cant do it! why do i still care about what he says?after sitting for awhile, i realize i cant drive home in this condition, and eventually build up the courage to walk to his door. i stand there for a good 5 minutes, before knocking quietly, he probably didn't even hear it. to my surprise he opens the door, i just keep my gaze on the ground. "armin?" i dont respond. "armin?!" he places his hands on my shoulders and shakes me a little. i look up with my red, swollen, tear filled eyes. my cheeks are also stained with tears. "eren, p-please...i'm afraid of what i-i'll do if i go h-home" i whisper to him.

erens pov: i cant believe it. why did i say that? look what i did to him, he looks like he's just been torn into pieces. i only said it because...well, i was in denial. i thought maybe if i did it with him, i'll realize i don't like him in that way, but it just made things worse. i knew saying what i did would hurt him, but i didn't think it would be this bad... i feel awful, i hate seeing him like this. what does he mean by he's scared of what he'll do? surely he doesn't mean...oh no! i immediately invite him into my house. i make sure to hold his hand all the way in, until he's sitting on my couch. i gently place a blanket over him, he must be cold. it's 50°F (10°C i think) and he's been standing in the rain for who knows how long. i walk to the kitchen to make him a cup of hot chocolate to hopefully regulate his body temperature. i hand him the drink and sit right besides him on the couch, not taking my eyes off of him, although the never really makes eye contact with me. "armin...i'm sorry for what i said earlier. i.. actually want to talk to you about that."