Anxiety pills

Please just go.... (virgil's POV)

Tw: blood panicking blacking out and shouting

It was a couple of days since I spun out
Patton has been checking on me a lot more
I stared at my notebook twirling my pen
What to draw.....
Drawing calms me down most of the time
I felt a little Jittery right now but I don't know what to draw
I lie back farther and stare at my Ceiling
Hmmm maybe....

I lean over to my desk and take out a box of oil pastels
I set them next to me taking out a black one and covering the page with black the pastel was fading so I put it back in the case and didn't use it the rest of the time

Next I grabbed out a purple one and a pink one adding different puffy shapes that looked similar to clouds
Then I grabbed some blue and added similar shapes for the two different shades I had
Then I smudged the shapes together in small swirls and lines
I grabbed my white pen out and added some little dots

How long have I been doing this? I don't really care
I ripped out the page and looked at it
I actually did pretty good for this one

I pick up the white pen again and add some more dots but this time connecting them with a line
Now it's done
Yeah

Galaxy's and space have always seemed really cool to me
I just never really looked into them much

Drawing them are actually really fun though
I sit up immediately feeling woozy but I don't sit back down
I search through my desk and grab a Push pin then pinning the galaxy drawing to my wall
I start to feel weak and get back in bed before I end up falling over

I hear a soft knock on my door
"Yeah pat?" I say knowing it was him

Patton slowly opens the door and peaks inside glancing around a bit "I just wanted to check in" he nervously chuckles

He looks at me and frowns slightly probably cause I'm so pale or maybe because the bags under my eyes are now visible cause I'm to weak to put on my eyeshadow

"You doing alright kiddo?" He asks cautiously

"Ye-yeah I'm fine" I reply feeling kinda nervous

"We were gonna do a video later if you wanted to join? Or are you to sick? Can you walk? Does talking hurt your throat? Can you sit u-" he was firing questions at me rapid fire
So I interrupted
"I'm fine I can join in if you'd like" I roll my eyes playfully
"Yay!" Patton bounces up a bit
"Wanna..... do something before then?"
"Oh sure!" He sat down on my bed next to me
"What do you wanna do?"
"We could watch a TV show? If you want I mean-"
I trailed off
"Oooo let's watch cartoons!" Patton said kinda loudly with a big grin
I nod "alright how about Todd McFarlen's spawn?"
Oh wait that ones probably-
"But that ones scaryyyy...." Patton sorta sunk down
"Oh yeah sorry....." shouldn't of suggested that
"How about gravity falls!"
Hmmm haven't I heard roman talk about that before?
"I've never seen it" I shrug
"Whatttttt?" Patton looked confused
"It's really cool! It's about these two twins who go on adventures and stuff and one of them has a pet pig named waddles! Some of the episodes are kinda scary"
I'm willing to bet everything I own that 1. It's a Disney show roman made Patton watch with him and 2. He convinced him by talking about 'waddles'
"Uhhh sure alright" I was about to sit up before Patton put his hand on my shoulder
"I'll turn it on mkay?"
I nod slightly
Patton gets back up and grabs the remote on my shelf turning on the TV and opening Hulu he put on the first episode of the show and then sat back down next to me and putting the remote on the table next to the side of the bed he was sitting on
I draw my attention to the TV
Everything about the episode seems like a typical kids cartoon

Exceepppttt for at the end stan walks into like secret base thing through the vending machine? Weird.....
Wonder what that's all about
Alright this show seems pretty cool

After a while of watching it were on like the third episode I think
My eyes start to droop and I roll over 
I slowly start to fall asleep when I feel patton wrap his arm around me burying his head in the crook of my neck
He's adorable
A smile and slowly drift off to sleep

Time skip brought to you by the angst that is about to occur

I open my eyes slowly not thinking I had slept to long
But instead of hearing any of the characters from the show talking I just heard patton humming as he doodles something on a piece of paper he had found

I slowly sit up and then feel the ever so familiar yet still pain full burning in my throat
Except stronger and raising faster
Shit shit shit-
Okay just gotta.... get patton out somehow
How
Uhh
Ask him
I guess
I don't know....
Just..... ask politely
"Uhhh p-Patton.... c-could you uh... l-leave? Just for a sec?"
Patton seemed confused "why?"
Oh god
Uhhh
"Please just go...."
Patton looked at me with a soft but kinda determined expression
"I don't wanna leave you by yourself....."
No no no
Please
No
Just
This can't be real
This can't be happening
My breathing speeds up once again
Patton looks at me curiously
I start to cough and gag
Please no please-
I feel petals and blood exist my mouth as I lean over my knees feeling like I'm about to collapse
"V-VIRGIL?!?!" Patton sounds panicked and scared
And worried

This can't be happening
Please....please

I keep coughing for some reason it doesn't stop
At this point it's only blood

Red stains all around my bed and clothes
Patton panicking trying to help but not knowing how
I start to feel woozy
All I hear is ringing
No
No no no no
This

Can't be.....h-......happening.....

Everything is black as I collapse and feel my head hit the hard wooden ground and blood continue dripping from my mouth