The Magyk book of Fay Tales : Book 1 In The Magyk Book series

Not By the Hairs On My Chinny Chin Chin

My stomach growled again. I hadn't eaten in three days, because my oven and stove were broken. I was a wolf. Just your regular old green eyed, vegan, starving, cooking, wolf. Perhaps I could go cook for my neighbors.

I walked over to my next door neighbors house. Wow. He had made a very bad choice. As soon as a windy, or rainy day came along, this little straw house would collapse. "Hello Hamilton. May I come in and have dinner with you? I will cook it." I said, trying to be as polite as possible.

"No!" His, squeaky little voice cried from inside. "Please! My oven and stove are broken! I haven't eaten in three days and I was going to cook a vegetarian casserole!" I pleaded. "I'm not letting a sneaky wolf into my house! Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin! You'd probably eat me!" "How rude! I would never eat a pig! I'm vegan!" In a rare fit of rage I huffed and puffed, and blew his house down.

Maybe the next house wouldn't be quite as rude." I thought. I walked over to the next house. The construction was a bit better, but the sticks could still blow over in a storm.

"Hello Hamlet. May I please come in and have dinner with you? I'll cook." I said, my politeness, perfect, but my grammar faltering at the end. "No!" His squeaky voice shouted from inside. "Please! I haven't eaten in three days! I was gonna make vegetarian casserole!" "I don't know how you can call pig casserole vegetarian, but I don't want any! You can't come in here! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!"

"What a jerk! I would never eat a pig! I'm vegan!" I shouted. In another decreasingly rare fit of rage I huffed and puffed and blew his house down.

Dejectedly I walked to the last house, made of bricks. "Please let me in! I'm hungry! Let me cook for you!" I cried, throwing politeness out the window. "So you've come to eat me. Your not even going to try to hide it? I'm impressed, a honest wolf." Spamala replied. "No! please! I want to make a vegetarian casserole. I haven't eaten in three days! Let me in." "Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin!" "What an idiot! I would never eat you! I'm vegan!"

In a fit of rage I huffed and puffed and blew her house down. Or I would have if it hadn't been made of bricks. I climbed in through the chimney instead.

Spamala screamed. "Don't eat me!" "I told you, I'm vegan. I come from a long line of vegan wolves." "Yeah right." Spamala said, as I pulled out my ingredients.

As I cooked, Hamlet, and Hamilton, dug themselves out of the rubble from their houses, and called the police.

I set out plates and silverware, then cut two pieces of the casserole. "Thank you for the food, wolf." Spamala said, looking genuinely surprised.

I had taken one bite, when the police busted in. "Paws in the air!" I threw my paws up. The policemen grabbed me and started to take me away. "Wait, he's innocent!" "Mam-" "He didn't do anything! He was just hungry!" "So your telling me it's okay for him to eat citizens just because he's hungry?" "No! He's vegan!" "How do you explain the collapsed houses he blew down in a mad attempt to eat your brothers?" "My brothers-" "Don't worry, they're fine." The policeman said taking me away.

"No! My brothers are fools! He's innocent let him go!" Spamala cried, but the policemen ignored her and took me away. At least there's food in jail.

*don't assume someone is one way because of how they look*