Psychopath// (Jeonghan ff)

12. Your

Jeonghan's POV

I stepped out of my house seeing another letter in my doorstep.

"For two years I've been wondering about how it feels like having a family. How it feels like to smile, be sociable and all. I mean, when I was a kid up to when I was 15 years old, all I had was Minghao and my mom. But then, when my mom left, Minghao also did. So, thank you really. Thank you for coming into my life."

"Mesmerized with my letter again, are you not?"- I heard Y/N said again.

She's in her usual clothing again. A hoodie and a pair of black pants.

"You're not in your uniform"- I said

"I'm not going"- she said bored and pushed my door open and slumped in the couch.

"Feel at home"- I mumbled

"Yah! We're absent yesterday. You can't skip now"- I said and pulled her away from the couch.

She stood up annoyed and went straight to the kitchen. I followed her and saw her eating a bread.

"Come on. Two days out of school won't hurt you"- she said and got another piece of bread.

"Y/N. My mom will kill me"- I said

"This is the last time I'll ask you. Just...just stay with me now."- she said all serious before looking down

I sighed and walk away from her.

"I'll just change."- I said and went to my room.

As I finished changing, I saw Y/N scrolling through her phone. While still eating a bread.

"What do you wanna do Ms. Skip Classes?"- I asked when I sat down beside her

"Can we go to our old house?"- she asked.

Though it made me confused, I still nodded my head and got my car keys. She followed me and silently entered the car.

We arrived at a beautiful house. It looks old and abandoned but you can still see it's beauty.

She opened the door and walked in with me following her.

"What are we doing here Y/N?"- I asked roaming my eyes around the house

"I want to see it for the last time at least"- she said sounding so down.

"You can come here anytime you want though, why last time?"- I asked for I am confused

She just shrugged and showed me a room. Not like some other rooms, this one's hidden.

"This became my escape place. You know, from everyone's criticism before I move to my place now"- she said and picked up a notebook.

"You can say that this is my suicide notebook? I was depressed that time. Don't read it until we get home."- she said chuckling bitterly before giving me the notebook.

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Just like the usual, after we arrived. She left me with a hug then run towards her house to lock herself up.

I was sitting in my bed when I remembered the notebook she gave me.

I was flipping over through the pages when I saw a page with writings.

"Day 1 of being alone. I feel like dying too. I mean, my monster stepfather is still in this house. Who knows what he'll do to me too."

"Day 2 of being alone. No one believes me. My stepfather keeps on spreading rumors that I was the one who killed my mom"

"Day 3 of being alone. Minghao called me a murderer when I went to his house. All of the people in here calls me murderer. I can't take it anymore"

"Day 4 of being alone. I tried cutting myself. I felt so satisfied. It hurts but I'm satisfied. It's crazily satisfying"

"Day 5 of being alone. I went out of the house but got dragged inside by my stepfather. He started kicking me. He was drunk. I'm left in the living room coughing blood."

I didn't know what to do after reading some of the pages. It felt like I also experienced her life. I felt like crying. I knew she lived a miserable life but I didn't know that it's to this extent.

"Day 6 of being alone. My body feels like it's swollen because of my stepfather's beating. It hurts so much. I feel like cutting myself and look, I have blood dripping from my wrist. Somehow, the pain from my father's beating is slowly subsiding."

"Day 7 of being alone. I haven't eaten anything. I'm starving. I'm afraid to go out of this room since he's here. He's going to beat me up again.

"Day 8 of being alone. Just like yesterday, my stomach is empty. I haven't eaten anything."

"Day 9 of being alone. I decided to get out of this house. I can't take it anymore. I have money left by my mom. This will do."

That was the last one in this notebook. But I kept on flipping until I saw another writing. Maybe this is when she left a note saying she can't go to school.

"Day 1 with Jeonghan. He's my neighbor. I don't like him since he always smile. He's all sociable and friendly. I don't like him"

"Day 2 with Jeonghan. He's fun to talk to. He's nice. I changed my mind. I like him"

"Day 3 with Jeonghan. Letting me meet his parents is one of the happiest thing that ever happened to me."

I smiled remembering the day when I introduced her to my parents. I didn't know she felt so happy when I did that.

"Day 4 with Jeonghan. I still can't believe that he's not scared. The day I revealed myself as the insane and psychopath who wander around killing innocent people. No one ever believed that I'll change, except for him"

Of course I'll believe she'll change. She's not a murderer when she's born. It's because of her trauma.

"Day 5 with Jeonghan. I started giving him letters for some reason. I just want him to know that even though I'm like this, I'm still thankful that I met him. I'm still thankful that he stayed by my side even in just a short period of time."

I was confused by what she wrote. What does she mean by just a short period of time?

I looked at her house seeing that it's dimly lit. Maybe she's asleep. I'll just ask her tomorrow then.

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