New but maybe not so New

Chapter 29 | ✔

Third person

In his whole life, Spencer Reid never wished to be a real medical doctor more than now. Seeing the young psychiatrist with the symmetrical face features and the bright laughter being rolled away from him and into the surgery crushed his spirits along with his big heart that for the past weeks seemed to only beat for her.

He knew that it was surreal and nonlogical to think like that, but he couldn't even explain it to himself.

This whole new world of feelings and those so called 'butterflies' wasn't entirely new to him. He had it several times, crushing for someone who was really beautiful and funny.
But the crush always left him, along with the women he had those feelings for.

But this time, with Genna, it was different.
At first he tried to talk some sense into himself, saying that it was just another little crush on a co-worker, just like he had experienced it with JJ, but after some time had passed, the crush didn't.

It just grew bigger and bigger every time she smiled, every time their eyes met and every time she held his hands, trying to teach him how to eat with chopsticks.

Spencer had loved the feeling of their hands intertwined so much that he even played along not knowing how to use them. To be fair, he really didn't know how to at first, but after the first 'lection' she gave him, he already had memorized her movemments and her explanations so he was able to use them without much struggle.

But he didn't want her to stop.
He knew that it was wrong to think like that about someone you worked with, but he didn't want it to stop either.

And oh lord, how hard he had tried to prevent himself from falling.
He had read about 'falling in love' several times and never really knew what it was like, but with his new discovered mixture of happiness and desire he had asked himself why someone would call those feelings 'falling in love' rather than 'rising in love'.

Well now that he had an insight of the negative feelings someone can have while 'falling in love' he understood better than anyone else why it was called 'falling'.
Because now, he very much felt like 'falling'.

Opposite from the 'falling' young doctor, Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan had taken a seat several minutes ago, his almost bald forehead glistening with sweat.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. Even if he had the feeling that Genna had disliked him since the moment they met, he really cared about her.
He was anxious.

He wanted her to be alive, to laugh and lighten up the mood like she had always been doing the last months she was around the team.
His eyes flickered to the young man in front of him, his hands buried in his long hair that he had always made fun of but still suited the young doctor and his eyes read and puffy from all the pain he had experienced the last half an hour.

He wanted Genna to feel better not just because of him but because of his best friend too.
Over the last few weeks he had examined carefully how close they have grown and how similar but still different they were to each other.

It was the perfect balance and he never seen his young friend as happy as with Genna.
He didn't even want to imagine how crushed Spencer would be if she wouldn't make it.

How everyone would be if she didn't make it. Garcia, Elle, Gideon, JJ.
Hell, even Hotch would be sad.
He had never seen him as committed to anyone's transfer as to hers and the way he looked at her, the way he cared about what she said, he was impressed by her.
But who wasn't?
She was impressive, Derek had to admit.

His hands flicked his phone repeatedly open and close, kowing that he was the one to make the call. He wasn't sure if he was ready to tell Tamara, but he sure as hell knew that he had to.

The problem wasn't in telling her.
The problem was that she wasn't even near him, that he couldn't see or hold her in his arms when she would find out that her best friend got shot. He cared about her, too much to admit it.

He never cared about any other women he had a hook up with.
It was a casual night out.
But Tammy, with her soft and childlike but still determined and stubborn nature, she had whipped the strong Agent out of his socks and into her big, goofy heart.

He knew that he would eventually had to hurt her which was why he kept his distance but seeing her in that elevator, eyes completely red and swollen, made his mind go wild.
He couldn't seem to keep it off her, even now.

He sighed, rubbing the tip of his fingers against his cocoa skin, hoping that from all the overthinking he had recently gone through, he wouldn't have to experience another terrible headache.

With his other hand, he skipped through his contacts nervously before pressing the green button and hoping she would pick up.

"Hello?" Her voice was smooth, a bit raspy and tired, but still so light that it sent Derek a shiver down his spine and made him get up from his seat, to nervous to keep his feet still.

"H-Hey Tammy, I-." He knew that was going to happen.
She loved interrupting people and he, in some strange way, wouldn't want it any other way.

"Derek? What the hell? Why would you call me at 3a.m in the morning?"

He shook his head at himself for letting such a amazing girl slip through his fingers, hoping that it wasn't too late for him to fix things between the two cocoa-skinned goddesses.
"It's about-."

"Oh my god, is Genna okay? Did something happen to her sister? Oh Derek, please tell me they're okay."

He flinched.
Normally it wasn't a big deal for him to be the bearer of bad news but now, knowing what those bad news meant for Tammy and himself, the whole team, he hated it more than anything. "Gabriella is okay. We brought her back to the Sanatorium and the doctors are taking care of her."

"And Genna? Oh god, if anything happens to her, I-."

He couldn't let her think like that.
"Genna got shot and is into surgery. She will get through this, nothing is going to happen to her, okay? I promise."

"Don't make promise you can't keep."
And then the line went dead.

He shut his eyes, frustrated with himself and his previous actions. He knew that she could get the information she needed by any other Agent but that wasn't what he wanted.
He wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice because she was the only thing that kept him from loosing it.

His gaze travelled back to Spencer, who still sat there the same positon as minutes before, his leg bouncing up and down, questioning himself how he can prevent himself from outlashing.

If Tamara was the one inside those walls, he didn't know what he would do.

~●~

I can not handle this, I am crying ahhhh💀😭