New but maybe not so New

Chapter 14 |✔

"So..." I started, shoving the Thai food in my mouth. After the musical, which had been amazing, we decided to go eat something and since Spencer told me he couldn't eat with chopsticks, I made it my mission to teach him.
But not tonight.
"Tell me something about you."

He smiled as he furrowed his brows. "What do you wanna know?"

"Everything."

He cleared his throat as he picked up his fork. "Well, I have an eideitic memory, i can read 20.000 words per minute, I have an IQ of 187-."

"No. I meant something extraordinary. Something personal."

He shrugged, chewing on his first bite, before his face got red and he started coughing uncontrollably. At first, I was worried but when I realized what he had ordered, I couldn't help but laugh, handing him some bread and ordering a yoghurt drink.

"Wow. Doctor Spencer Reid can take every serial killer down but can not eat with chopsticks nor spicy food." I continued laughing as he ate some of the bread and giving me a deadly stare, which just made me laugh more.

"You alright, Spicy?"

He shook his head, taking sharp, deep breaths to cool his mouth, before grabbing the bottle of the yoghurt drink the waitress just brought, swallowing it all at once.

I pressed my lips together, trying to prevent myself from laughing, as I watched him struggle.

"You know, you are even worse than our UnSubs. Enjoying the pain or others." He wiped his teary, red eyes as he opened his mouth, exhaling deep.

"What can I say? Getting into an UnSubs head can have effects on our heads." Our eyes met and we just stared at each other for mere moments, before cracking up from laughing.

"You know, I haven't laughed that good since, ever?"

I wiped my watery tears as well, nodding my head yes. "Yeah same over here, Spicy."

He ran a hand through his hair before shaking his head. "I'm stuck with that, aren't I?"

I grinned at him, nodding mischievously before taking another bite of my food. Spencer examined his own plate hesitantly and I smiled, shoving my plate in the middle of the two seat-table in the corner of the Thai Restaurant.

"Normally I don't share my food but if you made an exception, I guess I can do too. Besides, I don't want you to starve on that table, cause than everyone from the BAU would hate me, and we don't want that. Right, Spicy?"

He rolled his eyes, grabbing his food and shoving it in his mouth. "I guess."

"You still owe me an answer after your little Spice-Problem interrupted our conversation."

His eyebrows furrowed, before understanding what I meant as he nodded, swallowing. "Yeah right. Ehm, I don't actually know what to tell you. Since you know the things about my mom, I can't think of anything else to tell you."

"Well I can think of one thing."
He raised his eyebrows and looked at me surprised, waiting for me to continue. "Look, I know that you write a new letter every day to your mom but why don't you ever visit her? I mean, you were there. Remember?
    The library where we met? It's just a 5 minute walk from there. She really wants to see you."

As I saw the guilt on his face I swallowed and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "That's not a reproach, I just wanted to know."

He played with the hem of his tie as he avoided eye contact, his voice really quiet. "I-I don't know. I guess, I ca-can't talk about it."

I tilted my head to the side, lowering it as I tried to get him to look at me. "About what? About why you don't visit her or with your mom about her illness?"

He brushed his hair behind his ear as he pressed his lips together, sliding around in his seat.
"Both."
    Then his eye met mine and I swallowed as I saw his broken expression. He really thought about it a lot.
"How do you do it?"

I smiled softly at him, knowing what he meant, before taking a sip of my water.
"It's hard. And it will never get easy. Everytime I visit her, I get reminded of the worst day of my life and it breaks my heart to tell my sister all over again that my parents won't ever come back."

I exhaled a deep breath, running a hand through my hair.
"When she gets a seizure I get called, sometimes in the middle of the night and I drive to her as fast as I can, trying my best to help her, make her feel better. Make her feel normal.
     The thing I have to accept is that she's not normal. She'll never be. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

     On good days, she loves her life. She lives in her own world, sitting there, listening to your mother giving a lecture. It helps her. We can't do anything about it, you know?" I smiled softly, taking his hand in my own. "The only thing we can do is be there for them."

He nodded as we smiled, our eyes locked for the whole conversation.
"How did your parents die?"

I knew that this question would come up some time, it was a logical question to ask. "My sister was coming home from a school trip and we were all really excited. We had missed her. We got into the car, I was 13, we just moved to Las Vegas and we weren't really familiar with the area so my dad was entering the address of the school inside the GPS when someone crashed into us. My dad died right there, a traumatic brain injury, while my mom and I got into the hospital. She died because of the loss of blood.
I survived.
I had several broken bones, a concussions and the doctors said it was miracle that I survived. He said I was fine, I was good."

I laughed sharply, shaking my head.
     "He had no idea what I felt. I wasn't good. The mental pain, the imagines of the dead eyes of my father, it was worse than any physical pain I could ever experience. And that's why my sister's still thinking they will come and take her home."

I wiped my eyes, taking a deep breath before our eyes met again, his smile genuine and kind. "And, do you miss your sister? How is she?"

"She's good. She's holding up, but I don't know. I feel like I betrayed her by coming here because I've promised her to always be there with and for her."

"Does this mean you will leave the team again?"

I shrugged, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear. "I don't know."

~●~

I'm so pissed off right now! They just took down every fucking season of criminal minds off prime. Thankfully, I already finished this story but I wanted to do some bonus chapters with my favourite episodes but apparently I can't do that anymore. I'm still gonna try and find a way lmaoo

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