Ocean Eyes | Jotakak

Endearment

Jotaro couldn't help but think about the sexual interaction he had with Kakyoin two days ago. Since then, Kakyoin had decided to take play it off and act as if nothing had happened, but Jotaro had a hard time trying to do so. Every time he tried to utter a single word about it, Kakyoin would silence him by giving him a kiss on his cheek.

He couldn't take it anymore.

"You can't just pretend that didn't happen." Jotaro said suddenly to Kakyoin as they were eating their lunch on the roof deck. He gritted his teeth. "Damn it Kakyoin, talk to me."

Jotaro could feel heat emanating from Kakyoin, and wasn't surprised when Kakyoin turned to face him, his face beet red. His lips were twitching awkwardly. "I thought it would make things weird between us."

Jotaro placed his hand on Kakyoin's shoulder reassuringly. "It won't. We'll be perfectly fine."

"Sorry. Of course we'll be fine." Kakyoin's voice didn't sound reassuring. "It just feels a bit awkward... and kind of wrong. We're both minors, JoJo."

"I know that." Jotaro snapped. "That's why I told you to shut up about it, but I didn't mean for you to completely fucking ignore it, because that's exactly what you're doing."

Kakyoin looked taken aback. "Well what was I supposed to do? You can't expect me to be all cool about this, can you Jotaro? I've never done it before, okay?" he paused for a moment, and without thinking, he blurted, "And besides, you were the one who basically insisted on doing it."

"So you're saying this is my fucking fault?"

"I never said that." Kakyoin said weakly. There was some fear behind his voice. Fear of losing Jotaro. "Look, we're arguing over nothing. Let's just forget it-"

"No, no. You're always optimistic about every damn thing for fuck's sake." Jotaro said. He knew they were fighting about nothing, but for some odd reason, this only caused Jotaro push even further. "In the past two days, you haven't said more then ten fucking words to me about any of this shit. You only talk about school, and you won't fucking stop rambling."

"Jotaro, stop-"

"Stop? Oh, I am not going to fucking stop. We are going to fucking talk about this." Jotaro pushed further. "You know, I didn't want to have sex with you that time, okay? I just couldn't fucking help it. It was too early for all of this. And how you fucking left so casually that afternoon pissed me off for some fucking reason. You can't shake this all off. This thing... this fucking thing between us... I have no fucking clue what it's turning into, but I definitely don't want it to be turning into fucking this."

"Jotaro-"

"No, you know what? Forget it. Forget all of this ever happened-"

"Jotaro, I don't understand why you're so angry." Kakyoin said, and his voice was soft, yet serious. His voice cracked a little bit, and from that Jotaro could tell that Kakyoin was on the verge of tears. He felt guilty. Kakyoin had never openly cried in front of him. "I thought all you wanted was to be happy, okay? That's why all I'm doing is trying to be happy around you. If you don't like it, you should've said something."

"Well I can't. I don't want to. Because it would make you feel like shit, which is ironic, because I sure as hell am making you feel like shit right now."

Kakyoin's voice was now shaking. "Please don't say that. It's only been two days-"

"Exactly. It's only been two days, and look where it fucking got us." Jotaro snapped.

Kakyoin fell silent, and seeing tears in his eyes pained Jotaro's heart. He clenched his fists tightly as he heard Kakyoin sobbing quietly next to him. It was so quiet you'd probably be able to hear a pin drop. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around Kakyoin, feeling relaxed at the comforting scent he was so used to. Kakyoin turned around and wrapped his own arms tightly around Jotaro, digging his face into Jotaro's chest. Jotaro ran his fingers through Kakyoin's hair to comfort him, and all he wanted to do was to play with those soft strands forever.

"I'm sorry. I'm an asshole." Kakyoin whispered. Kakyoin had never used seriously used the word asshole before, so this startled Jotaro quite a bit.

"No you aren't. This is my fault." Jotaro said. "This thing... it isn't going to work. What kind of fucking relationship has its first fight after two fucking days?"

"But I want it to work." Kakyoin said, his voice sounding dead serious, but there was a different tone to it, and it sounded almost as if he was pleading.

Jotaro dug his face into Kakyoin's shoulder. "I want it to work, too."

They sat there in silence, wrapped in each other's arms. Despite their disagreement, Jotaro felt that no other moment would surpass the peace he felt when Kakyoin's arms were wrapped around him. He cherished the moment, not wanting Kakyoin to pull away. Not now, not ever. Kakyoin was hugging him tight, and even though his fists were clenched tightly as they punched the fabric of his jacket, Jotaro still felt the softness of his hands. There was only peace and joy in that moment, and it was as if all the grief had gone from the world.

Kakyoin peered up at Jotaro, his usual curious expression on his face. "Let's agree to never fight like that again."

Jotaro smiled. "Agreed."

A smile slowly spread across Kakyoin's face as the bell rang signalling the continuation of classes. This time, as they made their way down the stairs, things were different. On the outside, it was just little things- perhaps the fact that both of them were smiling awkwardly, and that they were both holding hands. Little things.

But on the inside, everything had changed. Jotaro didn't care that everyone could see them holding each other's hands, and he didn't care that the whole world would eventually know that he was gay. All he cared about was that he was with Kakyoin. Kakyoin was all he wanted, and all he needed.

• • •

As soon as the teacher dismissed the class, Jotaro was intercepted before Kakyoin could even arrive to pick Jotaro up from his classroom.

"What the heck's going on with you and Noriaki Kakyoin?" asked one of Jotaro's classmates. His voice was a mix of confusion and accusation.

"Nothing." Jotaro said, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Oh my God, look at you. You're fucking smiling."

"Get out of my way." Jotaro said, as he shoved past him. There wasn't any tone of rudeness or aggressiveness to his tone anymore. Heads turned as he greeted Kakyoin outside his door, and as he walked out, he could hear whispers following him throughout the hallway.

"What was that about?" Kakyoin asked him, ignoring the whispering.

"Some idiot asking about you and me." Jotaro replied casually.

"Well, what'd you say?"

"Nothing." Jotaro answered. "It's obvious, isn't it? You and I?"

Kakyoin nodded. "Yeah." Jotaro felt Kakyoin's fingers tighten their grip around his hand. His face blushed instinctively. "You should probably tell Holly-san."

"Should I?"

Kakyoin smiled. "Well, yeah. I'm telling my parents. They'd be surprised that I finally opened up to someone. And about Holly-san, I do believe she'd be glad that her only clinically depressed son finally has a boyfriend." he said playfully.

Jotaro smirked. "You're right..."