I Was One Of Them (Virgil's Past)

Chapter 6

A/N: time😏to😳 get 🙃off 🤷‍♂️my💅 ass👀 and🤔 write 👁👄👁

Art doesn't belong to me, i just liked it and thought it fit with the chapter

TW: Claustrophobia, slight panic attack, brief mention of abuse, brief mention of dissociation, the heteron't commences

Third Person POV

Virgil didn't know how long he'd been in there. He wasn't sure if it was minutes or hours anymore. He couldn't think properly as he was too focused on the feeling of the cold walls touching his arms, his shoulders, his back, his legs, his head. He tried to calm his erratic breathing, but failed miserably as he continued to sob and tremble in the confined space. He couldn't help but hold onto that small sliver of hope that someone would hear his crying, but his hope was quickly diminishing with every passing day.

Then a new thought hit him: What if they do hear me already? What if they know I'm down here but they just don't care? I wouldn't blame them though. I don't serve an important purpose for Thomas.

Just as Virgil began to accept that he wasn't getting out of there any time soon, he felt the familiar tugging of being summoned and gratefully let himself pop into a different room.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you..." Virgil repeated quietly under his breath, hugging his knees to his chest, completely unaware of his surroundings at that moment. He was too caught up in being grateful that he was finally out of that dreaded room.

"Oh, thank god," A familiar voice said, getting Virgil's attention. Virgil flicked his eyes up towards the voice from where he lay on the ground, surprised to see no other than Logan and Patton with relief on their faces.

"Lo..?" Virgil said quietly with a hoarse voice, still slightly disoriented and adjusting to the change in setting.

"When you sunk out like that, you scared us so much, kiddo!" Patton said, clearly still worried.

"S-s-sor-ry.." Virgil stuttered out, his voice still shaky as he hugged himself protectively.

"No need to apologize, Anxiety, we are both just concerned for your safety. We have both been attempting to summon you for hours, but to no avail."

"Ho-hours..?" Virgil questioned, surprised that they had even bothered trying for so long.

"Precisely. As soon as you sunk out, your scream startled us and we thought it best to attempt to bring you back. However, when we attempted to do so, we were constantly being blocked by another side." Logan explained.

"O-oh.."

"Well I'm so glad you're back now kiddo! Are you alright? What happened when you left? Are you hurt? Is--" Patton rambled on, being cut off by a Logan.

"Calm down, please, Patton, we don't want to overwhelm him." Logan said in a soft voice, softer than one would expect from the stoic side.

"I-I-I'm f-fi-ine.. J-Just f-f-fine." Virgil replied, still shaking like a leaf on the ground.

"Anxiety, with all due respect, you are clearly not "just fine" as you are currently on the brink of a panic attack." Logan took a deep breath before continuing in a softer tone of voice, "Anxiety, please, I know I am not the best side with emotions, but in many studies it has been proven that speaking of your problems to others can help to better cope with them. Patton and I are both concerned for your well-being, so please, tell us what's wrong."

Virgil looked at Logan with wide eyes, surprised at the amount of emotion that Logan conveyed behind his words, despite saying that he wasn't good with them. Virgil opened his mouth to speak, about to immediately tell them about Janus before snapping his mouth shut again.

What the hell am I doing? He thought to himself, mentally facepalming. I can't tell them, I can't. I shouldn't. I'll be put in the room again. I'll be beat. I'll be hurt. I can't I can't I can't.

Virgil lay silently, letting his silent tears fall down his face, not caring about how pitiful he looked to be crying on the ground infront of the two Light sides. His body ached as his chest racked with heavy sobs. Patton knelt down next to him, doing his best to be a comforting presence by emitting happier emotions and comfort.

Logan remained standing, unsure of how to assist in this situation. He was leaning towards just letting Patton handle the emotional dilemma on his own.

Logic is not influenced by emotion, he reminded himself, almost like his own personal mantra. And yet, even as he repeated that in his head, he felt a weird pang in his chest as he looked down at the usually snarky side breaking down infront of him. What was this feeling? Was it pity? Sympathy? Logan couldn't be quite sure, it wasn't exactly something he was familiar with. Even as he attempted to push those feeling down, they only swelled as he saw the pain Anxiety was in.

Who could have hurt him? Was it Janus? Remus, perhaps? Logan pondered to himself. Logan still couldn't wrap it around his head that a side would hurt another side. It was simply illogical to him, and it seemed to serve no purpose to bring another person pain.

Before Logan could stop himself, he knelt down next to Patton, who was doing his best to comfort Anxiety. Without thinking, which was highly unusual for the logical side, Logan carefully lifted Anxiety from the ground, holding him safely close to his chest.

Patton awwed at the gesture, which Logan resisted glaring at him for. Anxiety seemed to be dissociating, unaware that he had even been picked up from the floor. Logan looked down at the slightly smaller side in his arms, another feeling in his chest. This feeling, however, was much different from pity or sympathy.

Instead of a pain in his chest, this feeling feel nice. It felt warm and comforting. Logan didn't know how else to describe such a weird occurrence, unable to think of a word for it. Appreciation? Not quite that. Admiration? Maybe. Love? Yes. Wait. No, that can't possibly be it. Emotion defies logic, that would be impossible.

And yet, as Logan looked down at Anxiety's features, he couldn't help but let himself dwell on those warm feelings in his chest.

A/N: why do i deadass hate this chapter 💀 i read this over and said "ew" out loud at my writing i-