Found (Book 1)

Chapter 11

Jessie's POV

I yell at Christina and Katherine and then I watch Lisa grab both of their wrists.

"Out. Now." she hisses at them and pulls them out of the room, closing the door behind them. She walks back over and sits down next to me.

"Jessie, I'm sorry for what they said," she says.

"Whatever, I don't care," I tell her trying to pretend that's true.

"Look at me," she demands and I look at her, "You do care. I can see it in your eyes. I'm not going to judge you for cutting, I know that things get so difficult sometimes and you don't know what else to do. Do I wish you wouldn't have done it? Of course. But you did and that's alright. Life happens. But now I want to help you move forward from everything that you've been through," Lisa tells me and I can't help it anymore. I start to cry.

I feel her wrap her arms around me and I hug her tight.

"Finally someone who understands," I whisper. I can feel her head nod.

"I'm here now. I'm gonna help you get through it all," she tells me. When most people say this, they don't mean it. This time however, I get a vibe from her and I know she means what she says.

I pull out of the hug and look at her. Her eyes are shiny with tears too. I give her a questioning look.

"I find myself in really dark places sometimes too," she says quietly and I hug her again.

This time when we pull away, I see her smile a little. I smile back.

"Want to go watch TV?" she asks.

"Yeah sure," I nod. We get up and walk down to their couch. Lisa turns on a show I've never watched before but I find it interesting.

"Hey why didn't you say you were gonna watch this," Dani walks in with a fake pout, Lauren behind her.

"Well sorrrry," Lisa says in a sassy tone. Lauren and I laugh while Dani sits on the couch next to Lisa. Lauren chooses to sit between me and Dani.

"Help me I've been trapped with that psycho for hours," she whispers in my ear and I burst out laughing. She's laughing too while Lisa and Dani look at us strangely.

"What's so funny?" Dani asks. I try to stifle my laughter but instead laugh harder.

"Nothing," I manage to choke out. They shake their heads and go back to watching the show.

Just then Katherine walks into the room and sits down on a chair. I know she's trying to meet my gaze but I refuse to look at her.

She gets up, probably to sit closer to me and so I get up too.

"I'm going for a walk," I say, "Alone."

Lauren looks at me wondering why my mood suddenly shifted. I shrug at her then look at Lisa. She's looking at me with sad eyes.

"Forgive her," Lisa mouths to me. I shake my head and walk off. I'm halfway out the door when my wrist is grabbed.

"Jessie please," Katherine says.

"No, leave me alone," I respond.

"I'm not letting go until you hear my apology," she says. I can see Lisa, Lauren and Dani looking at us.

"No! I said get away from me you bitch!" I yell and she drops her hand in shock. I run down their driveway. I can't bear to look back and see her or any of the others.

Near the end of their driveway, I feel my wrist be grabbed and I'm yanked backwards. I am now face to face with Christina.

"Don't you EVER say that to anyone in this family ever again," she snaps at me. I shrug which seems to anger her even more. She slaps me with some force and I turn to run. She holds onto me however.

"Let me go," I say as I fight back tears. She says nothing.

"Let me go BITCH," I yell at her and she drops my wrist.

"Fine but don't you dare come back to this house ever again. You're unwanted here," she says and each word hits me like a brick. Tears fall down my face but I start to run down the block.

I hear Lisa, Lauren, Dani, Amy and even Katherine yelling at Christina but I keep on running. I should never have let them into my life. Now we're all hurting more than we were before. 

I run until I'm almost out of breath. I look up to see that I'm near the beach. Slowly, I walk up a small hill overlooking the water. I sit on the grass contemplating what I should do now.

Do I go back to the box or should I just make things easier for everyone and end things?

I know I don't want this to be the end. I want to go to college and I want to maybe get married and have a kid or something. I want to find true friendship. I just need things to get a little easier.

I stand up near the edge of the hill and look down, admiring the beauty of the ocean and the sky.

"JESSIE NO!!!" I hear a scream and I turn around. Lisa runs up the hill with a terrified look on her face. I put a hand up to signal her to stop before she hugs me or anything. I'll only break down if she does that.

"Do you ever wonder if ending things would make it easier on everyone else?" I ask.

"I used to but I know it won't," Lisa responds. I can see her trembling.

"But it's not like anyone would know or care that I jumped," I say.

"I would know and I really care. If you do this, you will break me. If you do this, I have to go home and tell Amy, Lauren and Dani what you did and it's going to break them too," she says and I stand there thinking. She's probably right.

I turn back around and face the ocean. It's time to make a decision.