Why Can't We..?

Chapter 18

Two months later 

"Enjoy your weekend!" Carol yelled to me as I left the office
"You too!" I smiled as I walked out the door, another late night, it was almost eleven by the time I got into my car, Jin hadn't texted me in a few hours so I assumed they had fallen asleep. 

I walked into my house as quietly as possible and walked straight to the kitchen, I ate my food as quick as possible and walked up the stairs to get a shower, once I was in my pajamas I checked on Ellie in her room

She wasn't there. 

I ran across to Jin's room and swung open the door

Gone. 

They're both gone.

I ran to my room in a full blown panic and called his cell phone, no answer.

I called Liza, no answer. 

I repeatedly called them both as my heart raced out of my chest and tears formed in my eyes.

What if something bad happened? 
Why didn't they call me?
Why didn't they text me?
They didn't even call the office. 

My daughter is gone and I have no idea where she could possibly fucking be. 

I started sobbing as I sat on my bed with my phone in my hands, I finally heard keys jingling and Jin's laugh flood the house. 
I ran like a bat out of hell down the stairs as he and Ellie walked in the door, she had a bucket of half eaten popcorn in her hands and a big smile on her face. I ran to her and wrapped my arms around her 
"Mommy!" She squealed with a giggle 
"Hey baby" I sniffled as I tried to get my tears under control 
"What's wrong mommy?"
"Nothing baby, I'm okay" I lied as I kissed her face all over 
"We saw the new princess movie!" She bounced up and down on her toes out of excitement as I stood up and locked eyes with Jin, he looked confused and concerned. He opened his mouth to say something but shut it instantly as he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. 

"Let's get you ready for bed lovie, it's late now"
"Aww okay mommy" she pouted as she walked up to her room, I followed quickly behind her. After tucking her in and showering her with extra hugs and kisses I walked back down the stairs where Jin was sitting in the kitchen playing with his water bottle in his hands. I stayed silent as I made a cup of mint tea and sat across from him. 

"I fucked up didn't I?" He asked softly without looking at me 
"You did" I nodded 
"I should have asked you before taking her to the movies, I didn't think you'd mind if I spent time with her" 
"That isn't the issue Seokjin, the issue is that you didn't give me a heads up that I'd be coming home and she would be gone. I know she loves spending time with you, and I know you're trying because we're together. I love how close you guys are and I don't mind if you take her out, you don't need permission to take her, you just need to give me a heads up. I wasn't expecting her to be gone when I came home, so I thought something horrible happened and in the chaos maybe you forgot to call me" tears started to roll down my face again 
"I'm sorry Yumi, I didn't think about it that way" 
"I accept your apology Jin. Next time just tell me you're taking her"
"I will" he smiled 
"Thank you"
"Of course, I really didn't mean to make you worry" he said softly as he stood up and wrapped his arms arms around me from behind, I put my hand on his arm and closed my eyes just enjoying his warmth 
"I know" I leaned my head up and kissed his lips softly "can we go to bed now? I'm exhausted" 
He chuckled "yeah, let's go" 

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, I rolled over and groaned as I stretched before checking my phone, I smelled breakfast so I headed down the stairs expecting to see Jin and Ellie but they weren't in the kitchen. I heard giggling coming from outside, my sliding glass doors were open and the screen door was shut, I walked over and smiled as I watched Ellie run around the outside of her castle as Jin chased her. They both had empty paper towel rolls in their hands using them as swords 
"The dragon!" Ellie screamed as she pointed to an imaginary dragon
"Noooooo! Princess, run! I'll save you!" He yelled as he charged the spot she had pointed at, she giggled as she took off running and ran into the castle slamming the door shut behind her. I giggled as I watched my  boyfriend swing his cardboard sword around yelling at the invisible dragon and telling Ellie that she would be safe. 

I decided to make a cup of coffee and sit outback to watch them. 
"The queen has returned!" Ellie announced as she ran out of the castle and jumped in my lap making me laugh 
"Your highness, the dragon has been defeated" Jin said with a bow making me nod my head 
"Very good sire, thank you for protecting our kingdom" 
"Of course your majesty, anything for my queen" he smiled as he blew me a kiss, I pretended to catch it and put it in my pocket making us laugh 
"Mommy uncle Jinnie is the best king!"
"I know" I smiled 
"When you guys get married we should have it in a real castle!" 
"Oh" my eyebrows raised as my eyes widened "um, if we get married sure" I smiled 
"It will be the best wedding ever mommy! Toby can carry the rings!" She giggled 
"That's uh, still a long ways away kiddo" I ruffled her hair, Jin sat down in the chair next to me and smiled 
"Awww" she pouted "just hurry it up already! You guys have been boyfriend and girlfriend for forever" she rolled her eyes and I pushed her bangs out of her face as I giggled 
"It hasn't been that long" I smiled
"You guys love each other though!" 

Love. 

My heart raced at the word. 

Do I love him? 

We haven't even said the L word yet to each other. 

What if it's too soon? 

He's already taking a huge step in dating someone older that has a child. 

What if the L word freaks him out? 

What if he runs? 

I do love him. 

How do I explain any of this to a six year old? 

"We do love each other baby, but that doesn't mean we have to get married right away, or ever really" I smiled as she pouted 
"I love your mommy, and when we get married I would love for Toby to carry the rings" he smiled making her giggle. 

My heart raced even faster than before as my face turned red and felt like it was so hot my cheeks were going to melt off. 

"Why don't you go see if the dragon came back?" He suggested, she giggled and jumped off my lap running into the castle 

"I'm sorry if that was awkward, she's a hopeless romantic already" I giggled trying to downplay the situation, he smiled softly at me

"Did you mean it though?" He asked 
"Mean what?"
"That we love each other?" 
"Oh" I blushed again as I watched Ellie fight a dragon 

"I did" he said in a whisper and cleared his throat "I meant it when I told her I love you, and that when we get married Toby can carry the rings" he smiled softly as he stared out into the yard as if he was imagining it in his mind. I felt a lump form in my throat as all of my emotions tried to escape at once. 
"I did too" I admitted softly "I love you Jinnie" he blushed at my words and tried to fight the extra wide smile creeping onto his face 
"I love you too Yumi" he confessed as he leaned over and intertwined our fingers, he brought my hand to his face and kissed my knuckles softly making me smile.