One and One is Two

Sam Speaks Whale

In the EAC, the turtles were speeding up.

"Alright, we're here, dudes. Get ready. Your exit's coming up" said Crush.

"You mean the swirling vortex up ahead?" said George.

"That's it, dude. Now Squirt'll now give you a rundown of proper exiting techniques" said Crush.

"Good afternoon. We're gonna have a great jump today. Remember, rip it, roll it and punch it" said Squirt.

Pretty soon, the guys were able to exit the current through the speedy spiral vortex.

"That was... fun. I actually enjoyed that" said Paul.

"Most excellent. Now turn your Beatle tails round and swim straight on through to Sydney. No worries, Macca" said Crush.

"No worries. Thank you, Crush" said Paul.

"Later, Beatles!" said one of the baby turtles.

"You tell your Meg dudette I said hi okay?" said Crush.

"See ya later, dudes" said Squirt.

"Bye, everyone!" said Charles Wallace.

"Oh, Meg would have loved this" said Calvin.

"Yeah, she would have" said Ringo.

"Dear me. That reminds me! Crush! Crush, I forgot! How old are you?" said Paul.

"A hundred and fifty, dude! And still young. Rock on" said Crush.

"A hundred and fifty. A hundred and fifty. I gotta remember that." said Paul.

They kept going and even after about ten minutes, they still didn't know where they were.

"I have definitely seen this floating speck before. That means we've past it before" said Calvin.

"And that means we're going in circles" said Charles Wallace.

"And that means we're not going straight" finished Sam.

"Well, why don't we ask someone for directions?" said John.

"Fine. Who do we ask? The speck? There's nobody here" said Calvin.

"Well there has to be someone, Cal. It's the ocean. We're not the only seven here" said George.

"He's right. Okay, no one there. Um... no. Nada" Sam said gazing around.

She kept looking until she saw a dark fish in the distance.

"There's somebody!" Sam said swimming toward the fish.

"Sam! Think it over, love. We don't know that fish. If you ask it for directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones" said Paul.

"What is it with men and asking for directions?" Sam said.

"Don't play the gender card, love. You wanna play a card? Play the "let's not die" card" said Paul.

"Honestly, Macca, I think she's right" said Ringo.

"Yeah. How are we gonna get outta here if we don't give it a shot and hope for the best?" said Charles Wallace.

"Oh, okay" said Paul.

"Excuse us, little fella! Hello! Our friend Meg was taken to Sydney. And it's really important that we get there as fast as we can. Could you please help us?" Sam said.

The seemingly little fish revealed its normal size.

"Oh. Big fella. Big, uh... whale" said Calvin.

"Okay. Maybe he only speaks whale" Sam said.

Sam tried speaking whale herself.

"Ooooo, weeeeeeeee neeeeeed.... toooooooo fiiiiiiiinnnnnd our frieeeeeeeeend. Can you pleeeeeeease give us direeeeeeeeectiooooons?" she said.

"Sammy? Heaven knows what you're saying. See? he's swimming away" said Ringo.

"Cooommme baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAck" Sam moaned.

"he's not coming back. I think you've offended him" said George. 

"Maybe a different dialect. Maaaaaaaaaaa, Mmmmmmmoooooooo-aaaaaaaaaa" Sam tried.

"Sam, that is NOT whale. You're speaking, like, upset tummy" said Paul.

"Maybe I should try humpback" Sam said.

"No, don't try humpback" said Calvin.

"Whaaaaaaaaa! Whaaaaa" Sam tried.

"Okay. Now you actually sound sick" said Calvin.

"Maybe louder, huh? HOOOWAAAH! HOOOWAAAH!" Sam said. 

"DON'T DO THAT!" Calvin growled slapping Sam a little.

"Too much orca" said Charles Wallace.

"Yeah. Cal, didn't it sound a little orca-ish?" Sam said.

"It doesn't sound orca! It sounds like nothing I've ever heard!" Calvin shouted.

"Sam, I really think you should stop. This whale might be hungry" said Paul.

"Don't worry, Macca. Whales don't eat merpeople. They eat krill" said John.

Just then a bunch of krill swam by yelling "Swim away!"

The guys were then sucked into the whale's mouth.

Wow. Looks like Sam speaking whale did more harm than good. 

Still, I wonder how things are going in the fish tank?

Let's find out!

Peace and love,

Sammy