Nang Dahil Sa Pag Ibig ( Vhong Tee )

Chapter 15

Tanya's POV
At first, I was confound when I saw him at the front door. Today is Monday and I don't even expect that he'll up to this. That he'll planned to come in my house. Ni hindi ko nga inasahang magdadala siya ng bulaklak para sa'kin. All my life, I did not experienced this. The feeling of being deeply attracted and attached to someone. Ngayon lang 'to. Kahit sa mga dati kong ka-flirting, ni hindi ko naramdaman ang ganitong pakiramdam. It was so good to be true.

You're all asking why I avoided him? Simply, because I want to examine my feelings for him. If it's just an infatuation or not. They said if your feelings last, it means that it's more than from infatuation or sometimes it will lead to love. In my 3 days of avoiding him, I researched about love. You will only feel it if you're always thinking about him, day and night. If you're always concern to him. If you're always looking for him and you're no longer interested to other guys. If you can't calm yourself when he's with somebody. If you're always missing him even though he's already with you. Lastly, If you're always thinking about the idea of being able to love him faithfully, eternally and devotionally. Of course, kasali na 'don ang pagbilis ng tibok ng puso mo sa tuwing nasa harap mo siya. Kinakabahan siya ka sa tuwing malapit ka sa kanya. Palagi kang kinikilig sa mga simple gestures niya. Pero pakatatandaan niyong hindi lahat ng kilig ay pag-ibig. Maybe, it was just a simple crush or infatuation.

And now, that I'm already infront of him. Mas lalo ko lang napapatunayan sa sarili kong napapamahal na ako sa kanya. I know it was so fast. Well, knowing LOVE. It will always happen in unexpected time, unexpected reason and unexpected situation.

"Love you" He added. Halos matunaw ako sa titig niyang may kasamang ngiti. Iniwas ko ang tingin ko at bumaling sa harap.

"Just follow me" Sambit ko. Naglakad na ako papunta sa hagdan. Naramdaman ko namang sumunod siya sa akin. Nang paakyat na kami sa hagdan ay para bang umuurong ang mga paa kong umakyat. I'm not numb and blind. I know our conversation will be more than serious when we'll finally at the rooftop. Nanginginig ang paa ko habang umaakyat. Hell, sa halos dalampu't pitong pamumuhay ko sa mundo, hindi ko inaasahang titiklop at matutunaw ako dahil lang sa isang lalaking 'to.

Bubuksan ko na sana 'yong pinto sa rooftop nang bigla akong natapilok sa 'di ko malamang dahilan. Hindi naman ako naka-heels. Talaga bang sinasadya ng tadhana ito? Or maybe because of my trembling knees? Shit, paano ba kasi kumalma kung ganitong alam kong mapupunta sa aminan ang pag-uusapan namin ni Vhong.

"S-stop coming n-nearer to me" I stuttered. Naramdaman kong nasa bewang ko parin ang kamay niya kaya ako na mismo ang lumayo sa kanya dahilan para kunin niya ang kamay niya sa bewang ko.

Dumiretso ako sa rooftop at huminto sa bandang gitna. Naramdaman ko namang huminto siya kaya humarap na ako sa kanya. Agad namang tinangay ng hangin ang mga buhok ko kaya bahagyang natatabunan ang mukha. Inalis ko naman ang buhok ko sa harapan at nilagay sa likod bago ako nagsalita.

"What now? Anong pag-uusapan natin?" Wika ko. Acting like a lowkey one, LOL.

"About us"

"There's no us" diretso kong tugon.

"So what can I do to have a word US" He asked me. Tang---ina.

"Stop being ambiguous. Say it directly" I muttered.

"Why you're avoiding me these past few days? If I didn't go here, I'm sure you'll still continue it" He said. His question made me off guarded. What will I say? That I tested my feelings for him? If it's just an infatuation or... Love.

"And why did you said earlier that I should stop getting nearer to you? Are you expecting me to stabbed you?" He chuckled but I know deep inside he's madly serious.

"Why you keep it all to yourself? Please tell me. Don't be so speechless. Let me know it. Because, damn! I'm now fucking beggared to know all your reasons" He added. He avoided my gaze.

"You want to know the truth why I avoided you? Because that time, I was so very confused to my feelings towards you! Damn! I want to fucking hate you! But it seemed that my heart is contradicting me! It was not easy because the more that I avoided you, the more that I'm missing you. I don't want you near to me considering that my heart is always pounding very fast and loud like it will come out!" I said while shouting. Halos hindi na magkandamayaw ang isip at puso ko dahil sa pangyayaring ito. This is my first time confessing to someone. Kitang-kita ko kung ga'no siya kagulat sa sinabi ko.

"And when you kissed me? I was scared that time because maybe it was just an accident or you were just carried away by me. Takot akong mangyari ulit ang nangyari sa akin noon. I was once inlove with somebody but hell, he's now madly inlove with someone. Ni hindi ko man lang nasabing OO, MAHAL KITA. Now, can you tell me how I'll survive this fucking feelings of mine because of you!" Tinuro ko siya. I don't expect my tears to fall down. Siguro naalala ko lang 'yong panahong minahal ko si Ion pero kailan ma'y hindi niya nalaman at naramdaman iyon kasi nga kaibigan lang ang turing niya sa akin.

I almost sit on the floor from my sudden break down. Now I realized, it's not easy to confess. Andaling sabihin ng iba na "Umamin kana kasi" pero hindi nila alam kung ga'no ka delikado ang salitang ito. You'll risk your heart. You'll risk your friendship with that guy. Being inlove with someone is very risky. You will not know if you will get a good or bad news.

Nagulat ako ng biglang pinulupot ni Vhong ang dalawa niyang kamay sa bewang ko at walang pag-aalinlangang hinalikan ako. His kiss is very gentle and sweet. It brought me to a place I've never been before. I responded to his kisses. I was mentally drunk by his kiss. Iyong tipong mawawala ka sa sarili mo dahil sa halik niya.

I kink my arms on his nape. Nagsimula sa mabagal hanggang sa bumilis na ang halik niya. Hindi naman sa marunong akong humalik, it's just that, natutunan ko lang ito sa LA. I mean, oh my God, HAHA. Kapag may party kasi 'don, may mga lalaking biglang hahalik sa iyo. I don't know why but maybe the people their is already copulated. Knowing Western Countries, kissing is just normal for them even if there's no string attach.

Tumigil si Vhong sa paghalik at 'don ko napagtantong nasa railings na pala kami. He rested his forehead to mine. He stared at my eyes and kissed me again. Just a smack.

"Don't be scared. I'm here to fight with you. I don't even regret kissing you. It was a dream for me, baby" Tumayo ang mga balahibo ko nang tinawag niya akong "baby". Niyakap niya ako pagtapos 'non. Niyakap ko rin siya pabalik. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik pagkatapos ng nangyari. Hell, it was a dream for me, too.

—

Kasalukuyan kaming nanonood ng movie ngayon ni Vhong sa kwarto ko. Hep, you're wrong. Nanood lang talaga kami. Hindi naman sa ayaw kong manood ng movie sa sala, but it will just make the atmosphere awkward. May mga kasambahay kasi. Knowing them, manonood talaga ng movie iyon kasama kami. I need some privacy with Vhong. I know he wants it, too. Dito na din kami kumain ng lunch kanina.

We're now sitting at the sofa near my bed. Vhong put his arm on my shoulder. Hindi pa ako sanay but I don't want to ruin it. He moved closer to me, making me leaned to his chest. I heard his heartbeat, it was so fast as well as mine.

"I'm now hearing my heartbeat" Vhong told.

"Maybe, it was mine" Wika ko.

Hindi ko alam kung ano itong nararamdaman ko. It was just surreal. Si Vhong ang kauna-unahang lalaking nakapasok sa kwarto ko. Kahit si Dad or Mom ay di pa nakapasok dito dahil hanggang pinto lang sila. Wala, eh, palagi silang busy. Mas lalo ko tuloy silang namiss. I really miss them so bad. Was it make a difference? Kapag din naman nasa LA na ako, namimiss ko parin sila. Umuuwi sila sa LA pero palagi din silang wala 'don. They have many transaction to attend. Most of the country na pinupuntahan kasi nila ay mga Western Countries kaya 'don na talaga sila tumira sa LA kaysa dito sa Pinas. Malayo kasi.

—

It's already 4pm in the afternoon. Wala kaming ga-anong ginawa ni Vhong. We just watch a movie the whole time around. Bigla ko tuloy naalala iyong pinost niya sa IGS niya. He wanted to watch a movie with someone. And now, he's watching a movie with me.

"Do you still remember the last time you posted on your IGS?" I asked him. He shift his gaze to me from the television.

"I want somebody to watch with. Looks who's on my side now, HAHA" He chuckled. Natawa na lang din ako. His laughs seems to be a song on my ears. Hell, why I'm being corny here?

"And I remembered how Georgia suggested me to you. I don't know with that girl. She's just helping me to have a lovelife either" Tugon ko.

"Audrey is helping, too" Nanliit nalang ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. Kaya pala. Audrey always know my schedules, tho.

"Bakit pala ang sungit mo sa'kin dati?" Tanong niya na nakapagbago ng expression ko. Really?

"Ikaw kaya 'tong nagmukhang boss ko dahil sa mga tono ng pananalita mo" I concluded.

"Don't worry. Starting now, I'll be forever under to you" Kinindatan niya ako. Don't me, Vhong. Namumula ako, gah!

"Walang forever" Bitter kong sagot.

"We'll make our own definition of the word forever, baby" Mas lalo lang ata akong namula sa sinabi niya. He kissed me again, in my nose. Ang sweet naman ata ng lalaking 'to? Jusme. Ikennat!

—

Kasalukuyan ko ng hinahatid ngayon si Vhong sa labas ng bahay namin. Medyo madilim na rin kasi alas sais na ng gabi. Niyaya kong dito nalang magdinner si Vhong pero umayaw siya. Sayang daw ang bigas, urur.

Sinarado ko na ang gate matapos kong lumabas 'don. Hinintay naman ako ni Vhong sa harap ng kotse niya. He parked his car to the gate next to ours. Wala naman atang tao diyan ngayon. I heard to my Guard, nagbakasyon raw silang lahat sa Palawan.

Nang nasa harap na ako ni Vhong ay pinulupot niya ang kanyang isang kamay sa bewang ko. Ang isang kamay niya ay nasa panga ko. He kissed me once again. A smack one.

"Mauna na ako. Sunduin kita bukas" Banggit niya. May photoshoot nga pala siya bukas. It was a pictorial for the facade of the building near in our company and I was obligatory to be with him as what my Dad said.

"Take care. Drive slowly please" He just nooded and kiss my forehead. Napapikit naman ako ng maramdaman ang labi niya sa noo ko.

"I would" He said after getting inside on his car. Pinaandar na niya ang sasakyan niya. Bago siya umalis ay binuksan niya pa ang bintana niya para kumaway sa'kin. Kumaway naman ako pabalik. Ngumiti siya sa'kin bago sinarado ang bintana at nagmaneho na paalis. Kinailangan niya pa sigurong buksan pababain ang bintana kasi tinted ang bintana ng kotse niya.

Naglakad na ako papunta sa gate namin at pumasok sa loob ng bahay. A smile plastered on my face when I entered the house. Ngumiti ako sa mga katulong.

"Yieee si Ma'am, lumalablayf na!" Banggit ni Tessa, kasambahay namin.

"Oo nga, es-es po sa inyo, Ma'am" Ngumiti nalang ako sa mga pinagsasabi nila.

"Don't tell this to Dad. I'm the one who should tell this to him and Mom" Pinaalam ko sa kanila matapos akong umakyat sa hagdan.