petals. |yoonminseok|

nineteen.

The day was as somber as Yoongi. The grey clouds hovered above and lightining illuminated their residence ever so often. He sat alone in the bedroom, a warm blanket covering him, after the couple offered him a quiet place. His head hadn't been right all morning. Not only physically but emotionally too.

He started distancing himself further. Hoseok and Jimin took notice quickly, but decided not to bring it up just yet. At least Hoseok, since the oldest had talked to him at the gardens. The silence in the house was the most abnormal.

He could tell they knew. The soft whispers, the looks they gave him, and the fake smiles they wore when they spoke to him. As if one word could break him like a porcelain doll crashing on the floor. Which was probably true. Words hurt more than actions sometimes.

Looking outside the window, he trailed the rain drops that skid across the glass, finding it mesmerizing. His headaches had returned, his heart ache took place again. His thoughts were a mix of messy words and feelings. Too preoccupied with everything going on. He was torn. The words of his therapist circling around, the words he told himself, and the words the couple told him.

His therapist had lied to him.

He was the problem to everything.

The pest that is slowly destroying the flower.

He crept up from the roots and carefully made its way to the leaves.

Then to the bud.

And now he was destroying it.

Making it whither away.

Killing it slowly.

He sighed again, closing his eyes and hugging his legs closer to his chest.

It was all his fault that things weren't the same.

Even though he didn't clearly remember why it was his fault. But it sure felt like it. The heavy weight and the stinging pain in his heart were evidence of it being true.

It was his fault that the couple suffered.

Claiming he was part of a relationship that already took roots even before he was in it.

Why would he even agree to such a thing? It didn't sound like him at all.

Did he used to feel the same about them just as they claimed they felt about him?

Were their words even the truth?

He didn't take anything for granted.

Not the tocuhes, the loving looks, the pretty words, the adoring gestures.

The stories they told him about his past.

He knew better than to fall for it.

But their hurt eyes were enough to tell him he had done damage that could not be taken away.

It was his fault he felt this way.

He just knew it.

It was his fault that his entire life was a mess and now he was becoming a liability for others. To those he remembered and those he didn't.

His fault that things couldn't go back the way they were.

Maybe he should just disappear without a trace.

Maybe he should go back to the thought of moving out. He should just pack and leave. Not tell anybody.

But then again, did he even have money? Where would he even go? Back home?

He probably did have the money. He had a job, not that he remembered any of it. So surely he was bound to have money. He could find a cheap place, away from the area he was currently in.

Away from everybody who claimed they knew him.

That was probably going to be the best option.

Not only for his own sake but for the others too.

He had become too much.

Too needy.

Too time consuming.

Too hurtful.

Too annoying.

Just too damn much.

Nobody wants to deal with someone like that.

Someone who is quiet, someone who has become too heavy with problems, and has no memories of his past. He had become nothing.

Instead of a flower he became a cactus.

A poisoned one that people avoid so they don't get hurt.

That's right. That's exactly what he was.

With the needles pointing out waiting for anyone to approach so he could inflict damage.

But deep inside, he just wanted to be understood.

Or maybe he just wanted to understand himself. Figure out his problems, figure out how to get his memories back.

Though people look at the outside of things and never at what lies inside.

"Yoongi? Food is ready, come and eat," Hoseok spoke from the door, being quiet just in case he was asleep.

He will tell them. He is leaving tonight.