Fucked up: Tiktok boys bxb

Twenty

Josh's POV
I know we aren't dating anymore but I am pissed. We are all at dinner after the 3rd stop's meet n greet and that son of a bitch is flirting with my baby. We just got got back from our meet n greet and Jaden and Ryland have been flirting since we got to the restaurant. We had been talking and waiting on our food for a while and they were off in their own universe talking about jewelry.

"So you like necklaces? What kind? Long? Choker?" Ryland asked while picking up his water. "Long necklaces for sure, there is only one way i'm wearing a choker." Jaden said laughing. "And what way is that?" Ryland asked before pressing the cup to his lips. "If it's your hands." Jaden said innocently. Ryland slightly choked on his water then looked at Jaden with wide eyes. I'm going to flip my shit. How dare Ryland. What the fuck. Anthony grabbed my hand. "I know it hurts and it sucks that he is moving on but you need to calm down, he isn't ours anymore." He whispered into my ear. I looked at him through sad eyes, "Can we go back to the hotel room please?" I asked quietly with my head down. Anthony nodded and we got an uber.

Once we were back at the hotel I just stared down at my hands fidgeting with my fingers. Anthony sat next to me on the bed, "It's okay to be sad about it, I miss him too. You don't have to act to put up this wall and act like the big strong man that can't be bothered by anything. I know you're hurting, you're just hurting yourself more by not letting yourself miss him." He said holding my hand and looking at me even though I hadn't looked up. I brought my head up and met his eyes. "I miss him so much." I said and felt a tear fall. Anthony hugged me and laid his head on my chest. I put my arm around him and we just fell asleep laying there in our meet n greet clothes.

Jaden's POV
Me and Ryland were cuddling in my bed and talking for over an hour while Nick and Griffin were our roommates here but they were still out. Me and Ryland been spending a lot of time together the past few weeks. I quietly asked, "Could you see yourself in a relationship with me?" He looked down at me as I looked up. "Yeah for sure." He said pecking my forehead. I smiled and pecked his lips. He looked down at me while biting his lip then he leant down and kissed me. I kissed him back and after a few minutes he moved to my neck. I was breathing heavily as he trailed his way back up to my mouth and stopped. "What was it you said about necklaces?" He said bringing his hand to my neck and kissing me again. I moaned into his mouth and he used that as an opportunity to slip in his tongue. He moved on top of me and started grinding into me. I closed my eyes tightly and held my breath trying to keep quiet while he undid my pants.

***
He moved his hand faster until I came into it and breathed out heavily. He got up and started putting on his boxers. I looked at the time seeing 11pm but I was so tired I fell asleep right there.

I woke up around 9am and got ready for the next meet n greet. I guess Ryland got up early and left to get ready. Once I was ready I went down to the lobby I saw Ryland and walked over to him. "Hi!" I said smiling at him. He looked up from his phone to me for a second then went back to his phone. "Ryland?" I said now confused. "What?!" He asked in an annoyed tone after a few seconds of silence. "Why were you ignoring me?" I asked quietly now keeping my head down since he yelled. "Because I didn't want to talk, was that not obvious. I thought I made that obvious when I put my clothes on and left last night." He said angrily shoving his phone in his pocket and crossing his arms. "You left right after?" I asked knowing I had thought he just got clothes on then got back in bed. "Yes, Why would I stay? Thats something boyfriends do, we aren't dating." He asked still in his agitated tone.

"But you said-." I started but he cut me off. "Doesn't matter what I said I wanted to fuck, I'll say anything to get someone's pants off." He said in a mockingly comforting tone. My head ached at his words. "H-how could you do something like that?" I asked with my voice slightly breaking. "You want me to be honest with you? I think telling you now will save you in the future. You are clingy, boring, sensitive, and over all just a fucking mess. You are all over the place and everything sets you off. Everyone has to walk on eggshells around you so they don't trigger your ptsd. The only reason anyone ever wants to talk to you is because you're hot. If anyone ever tells you they want you for more than your body they are lying and they think saying that will get you in bed quicker. You are easy and guys like that but you are clingy and they don't like that. Waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares or freaking out if I grab your wrists. You are broken and you are fucking crazy. People like sleeping with crazy people with daddy issues because they are good in bed but they do not want to unpack all their issues. I'm not going to sugar coat it, no one will ever want you on an emotional level. You are just damaged goods. No one will ever use for more than a one night stand. Now i'd appreciate if you'd leave me alone. You can't just get attached to someone then follow them around like a lost puppy trying to find an owner." He said with seriousness in his voice. My mouth hung slightly open and a one tear fell as I picked my head up slightly from it hanging position when I said, "Oh uh.." I trailed off speechless. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. I wiped my eyes and sniffled trying to collect myself and just walked away from him.

I walked onto the bus and sat by myself close to the back. Once I was sat down put on my earbuds and played music. Think about your supporters, think about anything. Anything but that. God why do I ruin everything. I really am super clingy all the time. And with all these mental disorders I have it must be exhausting to be in my life at any capacity. Anthony still has to force me to fucking eat. I sniffled again, god why am I basically crying. I'm always crying, I'm just a little bitch that's always complaining and talking too much in general. I think I'm the most annoying person to ever exist.

Once we got back from the the meet n greet I went to the room and just dived onto the bed digging my face into the pillow. I just don't want to be around people right now.

Josh's POV
Jaden has been acting weird all day. He hasn't been talking to anyone and he just seems sad. It didn't seem right and I was trying to think of a reason why he would be upset but I honestly had no ideas. That was until Ryland walked by to get off the bus with a smile on his face while Jaden's sad eyes trailed after him. "Don't do it." Anthony said like he was reading my mind. "I have to." I said to Anthony before going after Ryland.

He was walking toward his room so I stopped in the hallway grabbing his shirt and holding him against the wall. "Woah what the fuck." Ryland said looking at me with wide eyes. "What'd you do to him?" I asked clenching my jaw. "N-nothing!" He said trying to get away but failing. I pulled him up a little higher so he was on his toes. "Tell me!" I said getting angrier by the second. "Okay, okay. We had sex yesterday and this morning when he tried to talk to me I told him I never wanted to talk to him again." He said fearfully. I could feel the anger like fire in my chest.

I was about to punch him when Anthony grabbed my wrist. "I don't care how angry you are, Jaden would not want you to hit him if he was here right now." He said pulling me away from Ryland. "I want to go check on Jaden." I said walking down the hall toward his room. As I got closer I heard a voice coming from his room. I stopped and put my ear to the door and heard Jaden singing a song I had never heard.

I wanna fuckin' die but I never say it. Sick of gettin' high but I do the same shit. I can even cry so I try to fake it. I hate it. I pray to God let me die in my sleep. I pray to God let me die in my sleep. You as sick as all the secrets you keep. But the truth is I don't wanna be me. I pray to God let me die in my sleep. Now I'm waking up and I'm not dead. Living off the words I know you said. I feel like I'm alive and I'm gonna make it. Maybe if I cry I don't have to fake it. I'm giving up my pain so you can take it. I hate it.

He stopped really suddenly and the room was silent. After a minute Jaden opened the door and looked up at me. He had his hood up and his earbuds in, I could tell he had been crying because of his puffy eyes. I didn't say anything and pulled him into a hug. For a second he didn't do anything but he hugged me back and gripped me tight. I felt him shaking I think he was crying again. "It's okay Jay." I said as I played with his hair. "Why does this always happen?" He asked with voice breaking. "What happens?" I asked quietly. "I ruin everything." He said crying harder. "No you don't. My life got so much better when I met you. Never say you ruin everything. You haven't ruined anything." I said defending him against himself. Anthony came in and shut the door.

"Can I tell you guys something?" Jaden asked letting go of me. We both nodded and sat down. "Nothing feels right anymore. And I know I haven't technically had a home since I ran away from my house but when I was with y'all I felt home. Ever since I broke up with y'all I felt homeless all over again. I've been trying to replace you and get over you but every time I go another stupid talking stage that just hurts me all I can think about is you guys. I just feel like I haven't taken a full breath since I left. And I know its my fault so I get it if you don't want to hear this but I just needed to say that I'm so lost without the both of you." He finally stopped and trued to calm down. Me and Anthony got up and hugged him trying to calm down. "Jaden we never stopped loving you." I said looking down at the small boy in my arms. "We want you back too." Anthony said hugging Jaden tighter. "I love you both so much." Jaden said quietly. And just then I understood what he meant, I felt a tremendous weight being lifted off my shoulders and I felt like I could breath again. "Please don't ever leave us again. I whispered never wanting to let go of this moment. I feel like I'm dreaming and I'm about to wake up. Jaden looked up at me and kissed me. I will never stop loving him.