Julie and the Phantoms Imagines

Embarrassment (Luke Patterson x reader)

Requested on tumblr

Prompt/summary: Reader has social anxiety and helps her through a panic attack after a party

Word Count: 1,273

Warnings: mentions of social anxiety and panic attacks,

Authors note: I'm basing some of this off of my personal experiences with anxiety so if the symptoms don't match up with what you wanted I apologize, everyone's experience with it is different!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anxiety manifests in people in so many ways. Once I felt the pain in my jaw from clenching it and felt it slowly become harder to breathe I knew things weren't going to end well.

Luke had begged me to come to the after party all day yesterday and now that I'm here I would feel so guilty if I asked him if I could head home. I stayed quiet for most of the party, sitting on the couch with a bottle of water watching Luke dance with Reggie and Julie on the dancefloor. The lights were low and the flashing lights didn't help with the feeling of panic rising in my chest as more people crowded into the teen club. Soon enough couples were on the couch next to me making out like animals. The feeling of being closed in made me stand up and flee to the bathroom. I don't know if it was because of the flashing lights or my head spinning from not breathing well, but eventually I tripped and landed on the floor, my water bottle busting all over the floor.

My friends turned and saw me and ran over to help me up.

"You okay (y/n/n)?" Reggie asked.

"Yeah," I gasped out, "I'm fine."

Julie looked at my face with concern, "Are you sure?"

I looked around and saw so many people staring at me from my epic fail. My pause and gulp must've given me away because Luke quickly wrapped his hand around my waist before saying, "We'll see you guys later okay?"

The phantoms waved as Luke led me outside and to his car. He opened the door for me and helped me inside and hopped in the driver's seat.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Luke said.

"Tell you about what?" I squeaked out.

Luke sighed, "(Y/n) you could've told me you were feeling anxious, we could've gone back to your house."

"I didn't want to ruin your night," I said with tears in my eyes.

"Why would you think you would ruin my night? You're my girlfriend! I'm supposed to take care of you!" he said. I didn't know if my reaction was from the stress of earlier or if it was because he started to raise his voice, but I burst out into unconsolable tears. Luke's face softened and he reached over the console to remove my hands from my face.

"(Y/n) look at me," he said, sobs were still echoing out of me. He pushed the hair off of my forehead and placed a kiss on my temple. My lungs felt like they were going to bust and I didn't have any control over how I was breathing which made me panic even more.

"You're safe I promise you, just listen to me. Breathe with me okay?" I heard him say. He held both of my hands in his and pressed his nose into my shoulder so I could hear each breath he let out. Tears were still running down my face as my breathing began to slow. 4-7-8 breathing was recommended by my therapist and Luke had seen Julie use it with me before a show one time. When he felt my breathing even out he pulled back and gently pulled my face to look at him.

"Better?"

I nodded, my lungs still felt tiny but at least they weren't hiccuping like they were before. He wiped the tears away with his thumb leaning in to kiss me on the lips softly.

"Can you tell me how you feel?"

I paused and looked towards the radio to read the time, he pulled my face back to look at him again. I sighed, "Scared. My jaw hurts."

"Scared of what honey?"

"Everyone saw me fall in there," I said.

Luke reached into the back and grabbed his duffle bag, "No one's gonna remember that baby. They're all probably wasted and won't remember anything about tonight. Do you remember when Julie's voice cracked at sound check?"

I thought about it for a second, "Kinda, I forgot about it."

Luke pulled out a bottle of painkillers and handed me two to take, "And that was only a few hours ago. Do you think they'll even remember tomorrow? Even if they're sober they're gonna be focusing on other things to remember."

I nodded my head and took the pills and a bottle of water from him. I knew he was using the reverse psychology to make me see that my thinking was irrational, it helped some but I still can't quiet the little voice in the back of my head that is telling me these things.

"People feel embarrassment all the time, that doesn't mean people will notice them as much as that mean voice in your head tells you they do."

I smiled as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, "Thank you."

He placed another soft kiss on my lips, "Why don't you lean back, I'll pull through Sonic on the way home so we get ice cream and fries, then go back to your place to watch a movie and eat?"

I smiled again as he started the car, I leaned the seat back and closed my eyes.

When I woke up there were two Blasts in the cupholder and a takeout bag at my feet, Luke opened my door and picked me up bridal style.

"Luke I can walk," I protested.

"Nope. I'm making up for being a bad boyfriend."

I stared at him in shock, "What?"

He deposited me on the couch before going to get the food.

"What do you mean bad boyfriend?"

Luke sighed, "I should've seen how anxious you were and I also shouldn't have raised my voice at you while you were panicking. You have a panic attack that could've been avoided if I had just paid more attention."

"Luke," I sighed, "you're definitely not a bad boyfriend. It's not your fault, I should've told you I wanted to go home. You were frustrated I didn't communicate how I was feeling so it's partially my fault too."

"No," Luke said, he took a bite of a fry before continuing, "it's no one's fault. These kinds of things happen sometimes and the only thing we can do is to try and say what's wrong and try to do better next time, okay?"

He held out his pink and I smiled as I wrapped mine around his, "Okay."

He kissed our entwined fingers causing me to giggle before grabbing the remote to the TV. I grabbed the other order of fries and tossed a blanket over the both of us. He pulled me into his chest curling me up in a ball as I ate my fries. He put on our favorite movie and we ate our food in silence just basking in each other's presence. Eventually my eyes started to droop.

Luke looked down at me, "Tired?"

I nodded and he picked me up again and carried me to my room. I pulled out my pajamas to get ready for bed. Luke started to head out the door and I grabbed his hand, "Stay?"

"What about your parents?"

I smiled, "They're gone for the weekend."

He nodded and grabbed the spare set of shorts out of my drawer that I kept for him as I slipped into the bathroom to change. I came out and Luke was waiting for me in the bed with open arms. I clicked the light off in my bedroom before crawling in beside him to cuddle close to him.

He kissed my forehead, "I love you."

"I love you more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~