A Court of Gardens and Assassins

Chapter Seven: Who has the Biggest Wingspan (The Real War)

Once they had smashed and passed Mulch (literally) they had flown off with the batboys to discuss their next course of action in finding Az.

By now, they had all sobered up enough to function which was mediocrely better than when they were drunk. To be honest, the high ladies could not function on a good day.

"We don't need Mulch to find where she's keeping Az. She's not very creative," Heather said.

"She also practically doesn't leave her estate so I'm willing to bet one night with the bat boys he's on her property," Emily said.

"I'll take that fucking bet. There's no way she's that stupid that she'd keep him in the most obvious place on Prythian," Cass scoffed.

The High Ladies all paused a moment then proceeded to laugh hysterically. Rhys and Cass joined in a moment of laughter.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Cass wheezed, "Who am I kidding, of course she is."

"The problem isn't so much finding him, it's how to get him back," Arpita noted.

Silence fell over the group like a blanket over a rich white guy's car in the wintertime. They were all deep in thought.

"I wouldn't get too caught up in why she did it," Marisa said, contributing her superior wisdom which she gained from years of trauma. "Her motives probably will make no sense and be half-assed. We just needed something to get this chaotic fan fic started which was really just an excuse to write a mediocre sex scene that featured all our book boyfriends and girlfriends."

"Especially the Suriel," Marie commented with a sly smirk.

"Yeah, makes sense," Bells nodded while shrugging her shoulders.

"She lives in the night court which is ironic because plants grow best in sunlight," Rhysand said, stroking his chin looking deep in thought. Sabrina watched and thought to herself that his chin wouldn't be the only part of him getting stroked that night. That also wasn't the only thing he was gonna be deep in either. Tee hee.

"We should just storm her ass. She can't take all of us at once," Marie stated. "She's probably emotionally damaged from what we did to her fucking garden. Now is the perfect time to strike."

"Well ladies, to get to Az, we'll have to go through Mulch," Andrea said a little too eagerly.

"Say fucking less," the High Ladies said in unison.

"Okay so we know we're going to war with Mulch, but we have literally no training. We're about as prepared for war as a high school kid is for life when he graduates," Noelle states.

"That's what we're here for. You ladies fight Mulch because we can't hit women, and we teach you how," Rhysand said as if it's obvious.

"First, we'll have to learn how to fly and shit," Marie said.

"I feel like that will be hard considering how big our wingspan is," Marisa said, nervously eyeing her massive schlong of a wingspan.

"Well, I've been told I have the largest wingspan and can fly quite easily so..." Rhysand trailed off. He knew the ladies would soon find out for themselves exactly how large it truly was.

"I can vouch for me AND Az. Az is definitely bigger," Cassian supplied, confirming what all the readers already suspected.

Emily, who had been fairly quiet, chose now to speak up. "Actually, if my calculations are correct Marisa is larger by 0.69 inches."

Emily and Marisa exchanged a glance. Cassian knew that glance. It was similar to the one he often shared with Az when he thought no one was looking. It was so primal and full of passion. He saw himself in the High Ladies, but more importantly, he saw himself in Az as soon as he got him back.

For now, he was happy to help the ladies before he helped himself. 

DUN DUN DUN 

Fuck count: 4