Elain Mulcheron needs to be fucking swallowed whole by the Earth, it would be doing us all a favor.
Because she has the fucking personality of a brick wall.
She probably smells like soil and desperation.
She's too quiet, we only stan crackhead energy in this fucking house.
She was definitely a horse girl in high school. We don't fuck with that.
Elain Mulcheron serves no true purpose to the story, is more useless than an inanimate object, and deserves nothing. In this essay I will...
There's a reason Elain rhymes with plain. I'm just saying.
Mulch Mulcheron has no purpose to the story. She gives nothing to the plot other than the fact that she got thrown into the cauldron and became Fae. How she has so many people simping over her amazes us all. She deserves no one but the tool himself, because she'd say thank you for him walking all over her.
S H E I S T O O F U C K I N S O F T.
She needs to grow the fuck up.
WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE HER ANYWAYS. SHE'S SO FUCKING USELESS I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!
She has no ~flavor~ unlike chapter 55
She has no ~personality~ now
She has no ~depth~
All she has is ~dirt~
SHE IS A FUCKING WEED
SHE IS WHAT HER GARDEN NEEDS PROTECTION AGAINST
We will use her and trashlin to fertilize the soil for the flowers.
From here forth Elain will be referred to as mulch because she's as interesting as dirt.
This is our fucking cause, this is our fucking story.
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fuck count: 10
YOU ARE READING
A Court of Gardens and Assassins
Fiksi PenggemarWe wrote what everyone wanted: a SJM fanfic with more diversity and the justice the characters deserved (we're looking at you, Mulch). For legal purposes, this book is A JOKE. Mulch Mulcheron has no personality and yet has at least 3 love interests...
