Chapter 9-Waiting Game

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After getting out of the ambulance and sitting in the waiting room for hours, you were near dying. The clacking of the keys coming from the receptionist and the constant boring commercials from the TV was driving you insane. You wanted to know what was going on with Spencer right then, not ten minutes, two hours or forty years later; You wanted to know before your brain shut down and your hands did something to that keyboard your mind would regret later.

You didn't even change out of your bloody clothes. People waiting in the room with you would give you looks like you were crazy. You didn't bother to notice them.

Your team joined you, immediately asking for an update. Just as they did the lead surgeon came out. Normally when they sent the big guns it wasn't good.

The only words you heard him say were "...he's stable and in recovery." You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"He's not awake yet but one of you may visit." You didn't want to ask and felt it shouldn't be you. Then, Hotch turned to you.

"Y/n?" You shook your head.

The door to his room was brown and dull like all others. It was slightly ajar and you quietly push it open.

The hospital room was a concrete pen with a window the size of a biscuit tin lid. It had a stagnant smell, like it was cleaned with plain water instead of disinfectant. The bed sat low to the ground, the frame baring the signs of rust and the mattress worryingly thin. You bit your lip when you saw him.

A tube was placed down his throat to help him breathe and there were wires, so many wires. He had an IV in his left arm, a k-wire also placed in his arm, and sticky pads on his chest that read his heart rate. Stable. His shoulder was wrapped in gauze. The sight was a lot to take in.

You covered your mouth and just studied him. You were like a skittish deer, fearing that he, your predator, would wake up and kill you. But he wouldn't.

You pulled a chair over and sat to his left. You watched his chest move up and down, up and down, watching his breathing. You went to reach for his hand but then you pulled away. You looked at his face again and cried.

You reached your hand out again to grab his, this time not hesitating. You held on and squeezed it tightly. You would never get over his touch. You lowered your head, clutching his soft, warm hand, bawling uncontrollably.

"Please don't leave me." You whispered. "We didn't have enough time together."

3 days later

You only left his side when Hotch ordered you to. No cases came in since the shooting but he wouldn't of let you go on one anyway. You were way too emotional right now.

It had been 3 days since he was shot and he still hadn't waken up. Emily was with him now and she told you to get some food. You rarely ate or slept during those 3 long days. You were in the waiting room asking a nurse where the cafeteria was when Emily ran out.

"Y/n!" You turned toward her.

"He's awake! And he's asking for you!"

   Emily let you both have the room so she could step out and call the team. You walked in and gave a small awkward wave. He just smiled in return. You sat and grabbed his hand. A tear escaped.

  "I told you I'm fine." You just laughed. He joined but quickly stopped after grabbing his chest in pain.

  "I don't know why but I went a little crazy back there." You confessed. "It's just... I care about you Spence."

  He moved his other hand over yours. "Thank you for not giving up. And I'm sorry I kinda ruined your sweater. Emily told me."

  You laughed. "Thank you for not dying. And it's fine really."

  Emily came back in and you both released your hands. She knew what she saw. She ignored it.

  "The team is coming to visit."

—————

  Spencer was able to go home 4 days after waking up. He was to not be allowed in the field but rather with Penelope in her office working on the case from the safety of the BAU. It wasn't ideal but he dealt with it.

  You could finally breathe again.

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