Bungou stray dogs X OC Reader

4

Chuuya's face is so close to mine... So I was thinking right in the cafeteria. He really brought me to his room and now... I wonder if Dazai knows what is happening in here.  He pushes his weight even more on top of me and says lightly: "How old are you, teddy bear ?" This was the question not to ask. Flashbacks from the first time my dad touched me appear in front of me. Chuuya isn't here anymore, but my father is. "How old are you ?" "It's your fifteenth birthday, time for me to make you pay for everything." "Fucking disappointment." "You're going to see what it is to annoy me." "It is your fault." "All I am doing is taking back the debt you owe me." "You owe me for existing. I wish your mother aborted you." "I cared about you all these years now you got to pay me back." "Am I right? Of course I am. I am always right, you hear me ? Always."

"June... Are you okay ? If you want me to stop it's fine you know. I'm sorry for pushing you into this. It's my fault not yours." A voice snaps me out of my mind. I open my eyes and see Chuuya with a comforting smile. He gets off of me and sits next to me, his right arm on my shoulder. "Hey, listen, I don't want to to feel bad okay. I know you have a traumatic past, I don't want to make you feel insecure around me. I just want to show you how much I appreciate  you and how much you are perfect to me." I breathe. I have to calm down or I'm going to have another panic attack. I respond: "Thank you for caring Nakahara-san. But it's fine, you don't have to. I know it's all my fault. It has always been." Since my birth, everything was my fault. It was my fault that I was alive, my fault if my mother broke a glass, my fault if other students had bad grades. "It is all my fault but it's fine, it has to be someone's fault right ? And if it has to be me, then it is. It will never stop anyways. No matter how much I try, every bad things that happen are somehow my fault. I'm used to this. I am sorry I ruined this moment. I suck."

"What are you saying ?" He makes a shocked face. "You suck because you are saying such stupid things ! What allows you to think that about yourself ? Are you crazy ? It not always your fault, it just cannot be !" He starts shouting. "I don't know who put that into your head but I will make them suffer the consequences." "Fucking bastards teaching wrong things and make them believe it ! They didn't even let you think by your own probably huh ?" I look at my feet. I feel tears going up my eyes. When did I cry for the last time ? Probably in my fifteens. Three godamn years. Maybe I should let it out. I don't know if I am able to tho... I sigh. "I didn't learn the same thing as other children. I learned to know how people think and act by a single eye contact. I learned to not suffer from mental and physical torture. I learned to escape dangerous situations methodically and to suppress my emotions." I take a long breath before continuing. "I learned things. Just not the same way. I learned everything through violence and pain, toxicity and mischievous person. Every single person I crossed paths with hated me for some reason. That's how I became who I am right now. That's how I became a psycho with anxiety and self harm issues." I stop. I feel the tears hurting my eyes, wishing to come out. I refuse. I close my eyes and feel a warm embrace around my body. "I understand. Let it out now. It's been inside for too long and you are just killing yourself by not crying. I beg you to cry, June Shiraichi-chan. I beg you you hear me ? I don't beg anybody so be honored okay ? Now cry. Let it all out."

I inhale in a shaky breath. He is so sweet with me, I can't accept. I don't know how I am supposed to go away but I have to. Darn, I can't ! Chuuya is super strong and I know it. I have to stop thinking I can go away the Port Mafia ! I can't hold it. I let it all out and cry every drop of liquid in my body out of my eyes. Chuuya is patting my back and handing me like four boxes of tissues. I cry and can't stop. I forgot how it felt like. I feel much lighter. Nothing is pressing on me anymore and it makes me feel good. I guess I have to do that more often then.

After about thirty minutes of intense crying, I inhale loudly and hug Chuuya. "Thank you Nakahara-san, I really needed this." He hugs me back and plays with my hair while responding: "I'll always be there for you. If you're feeling down, we can cry together if you want. I really do want to help you. I will keep you safe I promise."

Suddenly, I hear to door being opened loudly and a Dazai entering with a sigh. "Are you finished making out ? Or do you need more time ? I have to show June-kun her room and let her rest before her training tomorrow. And you know how much it's tiring right Chuuya ?" The pumpkin head sighs. He stands up and helps me do the same. "He is right. You should go sleep." He isn't the same than twenty seconds ago. I guess he shouldn't show anything to Dazai. He already knows anyways, he literally said <making out>, I get we don't get to have secrets here. I walk to my superior and follow him to my room. It is right next to Chuuya's, what good news. Dazai's one is in front of my room on the other side of the large corridor. He waves at me and enters his little home. When I close the door, I make sure to lock it. We never know. My room is about thirteen cubic meters and the bed is absolutely gigantic. The black sheets are soft and comfy, they make me feel safe. I open a door, the closet. It's obviously big enough to make my clothes fit in. I unpack my bag and put all my belongings in the big closet. I see another door next to my bed. I open it and arrive in front of a huge luxury bathroom. A jacuzzi, a big bath tub, a big sink and the toilets are perfectly granted together. There is a grey carpet on the floor that makes the room feel even bigger. I run a bath and jump in it. I wash every single part of my body and after at least an hour, go out the bath, grab a towel and dry myself. I go out the bathroom with my towel around my body and go straight to the closet. I grab a pyjama, sit on the bed and dry my hair. I tie the wet fabric around my hair and head and take my dirty clothes to wash them. I hang them in the bathroom and let them dry while I sleep.

Author note: Hey guys ! Let me know what you think about the story so far :) I'm sorry this chapter is shorter (1'200 words and I usually do 1'500) but it has more informations about us, so I hope you forgive me <3 Have a great day :))